the book of my messy thoughts

It Was All Lies

I used to think that when I put all the pieces together you'd be a masterpiece but I turns out after putting a few pieces together I found a web of lies I've been trapped in and I don't understand why you'd lie to me I was nothing but honest to you I showed you everything more than my naked body and you couldn't even tell me the truth about yourself I wanted to see your soul in its pure form and you refused why? What is there to hide? I just can't wrap my head around this and its got me thinking what else have you lied to me about? Was it all a lie? I thought what we had was very realistic but maybe I shouldn't have let you and and be my pleasurnesss and indulgence of my life but you did more to me than stuffing your hands in between my legs you stuffed your hands in my heart and soul and I let you touch it in a way no one else has I loved every inch of you or maybe it was just all my fault who was I to think a weird problematic girl like me can be loved for once and for it to be real and last and for me seeing a future of us being together for a long time and sneaking out to go watch the stars together and trying to explain to each other how much we love each other even though words couldn't sum up how much we did and possibly waking up next to your dumb ass every morning and waking you up by straddeling you and make fun of you when you got a boner but where did we go wrong am just even more confused than I was before and don't know what to do but if you really did mean it when you said you still love me as a friend please release me from you web or whatever it is but just let me go and be free so I can love myself and have the chance to love again with someone else and I will make sure I'll love them even more than I loved you because I'll make sure the next one has even more of a possibility of being the one than you will ever be
-me