where do I belong?
I don't belong in my family
I don't belong with the gay community
with their surfer bodies and
expensive clothes
their rawness and authenticity
autonomy with themselves
I don't belong in my head
which is constantly kicking me out
building walls everyday preventing me
from understanding
I don't belong in my body
my head constantly trying to destroy
grabbing the pill bottle, the gun, the knife
my feet yearning to run
in front of the moving car
I don't belong with anyone
my mind pushing them away
my body not accepting another
