I'm sorry
I'm sorry it didn't work out
That I didn't let it play out
It could've been great
People still tell me
We should get back together
That we should put our differences aside
And meet in the middle
Our relationship might as well have been
On the front page of "People"
So many people knew of it
But none knew the depth
Or lack thereof
I miss you every single day
Not a day goes by that I don't think about you
I think
I'll text her
But then I realize
We're not in that place anymore
The long car drives
Even though there's a shorter way
But we have time
The shopping sprees and coffee runs
Me playing the role
And paying for food
The sleepovers
The party
The workplace banter
Now we can't make eye contact
At work
We ride separate cars
I drink coffee alone
There aren't any more parties
We were going to move in together
Set up our "dream" apartment
We were going to go to NoLo
For my 21st
We aren't anymore
When we ended things
Or rather I ended it
People were hurt
I didn't realize until later why
We were the restaurant relationship
Idolized
Maybe you knew it
I was too naive
I ended things on the phone
Because I couldn't face you
I knew if I did
If we went for coffee
The coffee would get cold
And your eyes would soak the table
And I knew I wouldn't have been able to
Leave
So I called you
The first 10 minutes were normal
And then I dropped the news
You were silent
For only a moment
And then I could hear your voice crack
The trembling in your sentences
It all came as a restrained rush
Words tumbling out
But never escaping
I never blamed you
I said it was all me
And to this day
It was all me
I will not drag you down
I wasn't ready
I wasn't prepared for our relationship to
Go any further
I made up an excuse
And hung up
I couldn't hear you crying
I couldn't
I announced it to my roomate
And then I cried in my room
People asked me how I felt
After
Relief
And sadness
No one mourns the person
Who ends it
No one pities him
My heart broke too
Not enough for
Me not to do it
But just enough
I gave you
A piece of me
And I never got it back
I made promises
I knew I would never keep
And for that I'm sorry
I lied to you about the small things
That were big things to me
How I was doing
What I did last night
How much I hate my mom
And after
After it all
People still wanted us to make it work
I promised we would still remain friends
But even that promise
I knew I couldn't keep
I look at you
And see all the memories
All the things
We can't do
The things I want to do
I know the pain would be too hard
I want you to know
I forgive you
I forgive you for the things
You said sorry for
All of your sorrys
I'm sorry too
Sorry
Sorry
sorry
And I forgive you for the things you didn't say sorry for
And I hope you can forgive me too
And maybe
Just maybe
In another world
A different universe
Plane of existence
We could remain friends
We could remain bonded forever
Our insecurities and unspoken truths
Wouldn't matter
We could stay
Enamored by each other
And that would be enough
They say love is blind
That it makes you see only the good
It makes everything worth it
Maybe we didn't have love
But we were pretty damn close
