you never saw me did you?
I mean yes you saw me physically
but what I'm trying to say is you never saw me and you
you never saw the "us"
the "us" that since the day I saw you
I believed I saw
the wind is real
even though we can't see it
so why can't we be
why is the unseen
unreal
why does it not exist
you never saw me
with the little fights
the "lover quarrels"
the banter back and forth
you never saw me
in the "drop everything" attitude
I shared only with you
the "us" that you never saw
is fading from view
from my view even
the "us" that would never be
the last part of that sentence I'm finally reading
so now I cut out the narrative in my head
the thoughts that I let wander from my heart
I let the logic drown my thoughts
and the flood comes in like the blood dripping from my arm
so now when I see you at the bar
the boy I thought I'd be with
the boy that never loved me
the boy who actually craved the attention
more than anything else
did you see me tense up when you came in with her
did you see me fake the smile
fake the hug
no you didn't
you looked past it
you didn't realize it
just like you didn't realize I was falling for you
against all odds
I fell and you didn't catch me
so to the boy who didn't love me
I don't love you anymore either
