Don't Let Me Go // h.s.

Part 36: Pushing Her Away

Katrina's pov
He hung up before I could say anything. I sat on my bed, unable to move. Was I being a horrible person by not signing it? I had no idea what to do. I thought I had found a loop hole in all of this, but it just ended up in Harry and I fighting.

"Kat honey, Harry's here!" My aunt pulled me from my thoughts. I could hear his boots make his way up the stairs. I got up and quickly ran over to the balcony to hide. I sat down with my back to the wall and looked out at the scenery in front of me. I stayed quiet, listening to him open the door and walk around.

"Kat?" His beautiful voice called my name and my heart sunk. God, I loved him so much.

I heard his footsteps get closer and closer before I felt him sit next to me, his shoulder touching mine.

"Were you trying to hide from me?"
I didn't look at him. I kept my eyes on the Eiffel Tower. I just nodded, before chuckling a little bit. It was ridiculous hiding from him, but I hated confrontation. He didn't say anything after that which made me panic because I didn't want to say anything. We just sat there in silence, our minds racing but our bodies still.

"I don't know what to do." I whispered, my concentration still in the Eiffel Tower. I couldn't look at him. If I did, I'd just fall into his arms and forget everything. That couldn't happen though. We had to work this out.

"I don't know either." His voice cracked. I forced myself not to look at him then. He sounded so broken, I could I could only imagine what he looked like. With every second that went by, my heart felt like it was going to burst, but not from happiness. This time I was just scared.

"Well we can't just sit here and do nothing." He said. He had a point.

"Then how to do we start?" I asked, honestly needing an answer. I didn't know. "Please tell how to get out of this mess because I honestly don't know anymore." I raised my voice a little.

"Why don't you tell me?" He turned to me, a hurt look on his face. "Because if you hate my life so much you can just leave."

"I can't just leave." I shook my head. How could I? I loved him. You're suppose to stick with each other through good and bad.

"Yes you can!"

"Do want me to leave then? You keep telling me it's ok to leave. Maybe it's what you want." I started to get angry.

"Of course I don't want you to leave but if you're not happy you should go." He got up and walked into my room, running his hands through his hair looking frustrated. I quickly followed him.

"But I'm happy with you."

"No you're not." He shook his head, tears brimming his eyes.

"Why don't you believe me?" I threw my hands up. I was beginning freak out. He couldn't say things like that without it leading to the one thing I didn't think would happen so soon. I was desperate but I didn't know what to do anymore.

"Because look at where we are." He motioned at us. "Look what we're doing."

"It's one fight, Harry."

"Everything has built up to this. It's not just one fight, it's everything that's gone wrong that we've been trying to fix but it didn't work."

I stayed quiet. I looked at him, hair all over the place red watery eyes, flushed cheeks, slouched tired shoulders, and shakes hands. My Harry was trying to push me away and I don't know how to hold on.

"So what are we going to do?" I shrugged. I braced myself for the answer I knew was coming. I hugged myself in an attempt to keep myself from falling apart.

He looked away. He looked everything except for me.

"Just go home and don't worry about it. You won't be stuck going to fancy award shows and stupid parties." His voice cracked. He was trying to act like this wasn't killing him inside, but I saw right through it.

"Harry, it's not stupid it's your job-" he interrupted me.

"And my job is my life Katrina! If you can't handle it then I can't help you!" He yelled which stung. He never talked to me like this.

"Stop being an asshole and let me in. I know your job is your life and I am trying my best but this contract is stupid. The contract is the problem not me or you!" I yelled back. I felt tears roll down my cheeks but I didn't pay much attention to them.

He froze as if he was thinking about what I just said and looked at me. I could read the expression on his face and I just stood there waiting for something, anything.

"I'm gonna go."

Oh no he didn't.

"So that's it then?"

"I have to think." His voice was hoarse from the yelling and crying.

"Fine." I nodded.

"I'll call you later." He said before turning around and walking out the door.

I stood there listening to his heavy footsteps walk down each step of the stairs. I heard the front door open and softly click closed. After that, I broke down. I started sobbing. I covered my mouth to muffle the sobs so my aunt wouldn't come up here but a few seconds later she burst through the door. She didn't hesitate in pulled me into a hug. A hug I didn't know I needed until then.

She didn't say anything which I was grateful for. I didn't want to hear what she had to say, not then anyways. I was too busy trying to analyze what just happened. Everything happened so fast I was overwhelmed. I didn't know if we were still together or not. I didn't know if he still loves me because it sure as hell didn't feel like it.

well.....that happened. I don't know what's going to happen. We'll find out together. Please don't hesitate to comment or vote. Love you guys.