Just a fan

Edge of the night

Chapter 6

Edge of the night

P.S. Depression warning

Some philosophical thoughts (cause I am addicted to them as they flow in my head)

How is it to feel being owned by everyone? Is it feeling not being able to judge yourself to the fullest extend? Or do you feel some pattern you are using to expose yourself into the public?

With the growth of my income, I felt becoming more significant and more tabled at the same time. U can't just be complete you but realistically u should have done that.

Isn't those sources that should help u feel more freedom and ability to chose things up to u.

That what made me completely shocked. I cabled myself to be a kind of the standard and from now on I was responsible for the whole image I was working on. That comes to lifestyle in general. Maybe things seems vague and not clear but if you look at it with more details it will drive u crazy as abilities are still limited. The only difference in this case is a price tag.

Now its just bigger. And it is completely disappointing not from the point of being rich or goodly settled its just the feeling that u get.

U automatically separate yourself from others. They feel u being far from them and of course they judge u at once.

U know u place and the same thing applies to u now.

Isn't it devastating? U just haven't done anything wrong and become a spoiled brat at once.

The girl with money is seen from the point of view of daddy issues, rich family or luckiness.

Too independent? Can't she be a week person who is the same vulnerable just more prominent in her goal?

And this isn't about feminism at all. It's just doesn't matter where u will get yourself u find a nagging feeling inside that drags you higher the ladder. Its not the position, its not the feeling, nor enough.....

Its a destruction of being so much hungry and running for success and reaching it seems not the place u feel it right.

Just building more barricades and building around to secure the place u haven't even fully explored and understood.

I mean its hard to get, I guess and maybe makes no sense, just remember not to look back, it just not worth of it, trust me...

Story line

We made to the hotel room, I was done dealing with those taxis and other point we had to fill out on our way. I was glad to be in the room. We had 2 rooms reserved for us, Lisa and Mina had 1 bigger and I was alone in my suit on the big bed trying to realise what has just happened to me.

They knew I have to do the calls and work things, so the question about living was solved at once.

I had big window into the city. It was big, pretty and industrial as I like.

It made me feel home.

I ripped my jeans at the airport and now was dealing with the consequences.

They were ripped already themselves but it made them being completely ruined.

-Fuck.

It was my fav pair, as I wear them quite for a while now.

It was a tall building and I was on the 8h floor enjoying my life with the best view u can imagine.