Just a fan

Rooftop

Chapter 7

Rooftop

Warning, a suicide attempt

The cracking sound of the doors interrupted my slow pace as I appeared on the rooftop. The fresh air immediately entered the lungs making me feel the coldness of the evening air.

The panorama was incredible, so many lights coming from tall building building the whole city all around me. It. Was a nice space. U can feel in power here.

My hair was blowing around trying to find its place somewhere. The goosebumps were rushing through all my body.

I stood in the middle of the open space trying to tolerate anything and everything I received today.

Single drop of tear fell on the ground crashing into a hungry, hot concrete.

I moved my fingers to my face wiping off the leftovers of human water that was coming from the eyes. I was moving to the end of the store building, reaching it and putting my body on the railing that were a kind of a big concrete frame. It wasn't safe at all. U can easily sit on it and legs would fly in the air.

I was afraid of heights all my life. The adrenaline rush would come to my body and I tried to compete with my fear and even did parachuting with my dad, but the fear didn't go anywhere. But at this moment I didn't feel anything at all.

I slowly crawled on the edge sitting on it. It was amazing how the city was huge in comparison to a small people rushing everywhere. It was busy even in the evening.

I felt every wind streams rushing to my skin stupidly smiling and still breaking every part of my heart inside.

I couldn't deal with it anymore. I wasn't crazy or weak person, it was just my inability to communicate deeply with somebody and resolve it peacefully because the problem was hiding with me all the time. I can't change people and their attitude, how much destruction it may have brought to be and still continued to part me in pieces.

I couldn't cut them off my life as it was my responsibility as a part of the family, even I didn't feel it was it any more. There was no hate inside of me. I had no lust to them, just everything got frozen to the bones. I didn't like it. I wanted to feel something warm, or at least some human anger or sadness, but it was impossible.

I couldn't treat myself from the damage done. It was too hard to comprehend. My heart was completely frozen now.

I looked blankly into the deep darkness of the city. I liked it. It suited me so much.

Slowly standing up with the help of my hand I straightened up the body and looked straightly.

-Sorry, I have really tried it.

The silence occurred and only car honks were hearable from the city.

-I just can't anymore....

I stood up. 

 It seemed as I was waiting for the answer which obviously haven't come to me. The city was cruel and cold inside out. It had mercy for nobody.

The body was irresistible and slowly stepped up to the edge of the fence.

I looked down, the tallness was insane, the glossy windows of the hotel were shining as a mirrors to the whole city.

I felt my heartbeat. Dizziness came up to me, I felt that everything became blurry for the moment. My foot was halfway in the air and second unconsciously gripping into the fence, trying to stabilise the body itself.