WWE and Other Wrestling Promotions Fan Club

Well, That Was.... Interesting.

Okay, I lied. This post is not going to be the predictions for the Money in the Bank PPV - that'll be the next post. This one is going to talk about the go-home show of RAW this past Monday. The beginning and ending of the show were great. Everything in the middle sucked.

The night started off with The Authority! Wait, no. No, it didn't, which was awesome. Instead, we got the United States Champion John Cena, who was out there to talk about his match and the fact that he LOST CLEANLY TO KEVIN FUCKING OWENS. That led to the NXT Champion to come out there and not only go back and forth verbally with the Cenation leader, but to issue an open challenge of his own. Basically, it went like this:

Owens: "I'll take on all comers for this NXT Championship -"

Cena: "I accept."

Owens: "No, fuck you, John. I'll take on anyone at all - except you."

It was pretty hilarious, to say the least. That led to Cena proclaiming that the first person to walk down that ramp would have his choice of who he wanted to fight. Would it be the Number One Contender for the NXT Championship, Finn Balor? (which, if it had been, I would have literally screamed at the top of my lungs and marked out like crazy). No. No, it wasn't Balor. Not yet. No, it was the former NXT Champion, Neville!

OMFG. Neville! You see, Neville was thisclose to winning the United States Championship if Rusev hadn't fucked shit up like he always does (that's why Lana left you, ya butt) (yes, I know, Lana and Rusev are still together in real life - if Vince hasn't broken them up yet - don't ask - there's this weird rumor that Vince wants Lana and Rusev to break up). But, but he also kinda wanted to be NXT Champ again, so he picked Owens as his opponent. The match was awesome and Owens won with his Pop-Up Powerbomb.

Nikki won. Gah. And she's probably gonna win on Sunday. Gag me with a spoon.

Sheamus beat Randy Orton via DQ. Someone tell me why these two are even feuding, if you can call it that?

Kane beat Dolph. Only because Rusev fucked shit up. As usual. But this time he hurt Lana! Or, to borrow a line from one of my favorite shows:

"Lana! Lana! Lana! Laaannnnnnaaaaaaa!"

"WHAT?!"

"Danger zone."

Miz TV happened. And it was shit, really. From Miz wearing something he probably got out of Maryse's closet to him trying to goad Ryback into fighting Big Show (seriously, someone tell me why Big Show has a title match?)

Luke Harper and Erick Rowan beat the Los Matadores. I guess WWE realized their singles runs were shit (well, Luke did win the IC title, but does that really matter at this point?) and decided to put them back together. However, they did use a move made famous by the Dudley Boyz, which led to an interaction between Bubba Ray and Luke Harper on Twitter. I swear to Jebus, if they book that match for Summerslam, I will mark the fuck out.

Big E beat Titus O'Neil. The Primetime Players have been on a hot streak as of late and it would be cool to see them as champions on Sunday but I really love the New Day and the POWER OF POSITIVITY!!

Roman beat Kofi. Pretty solid match. After the match, Roman pulled up a chair and waited for little brother to come into the ring.

And so he did, carrying a huge-ass bag of popcorn, a smaller tub of popcorn and a Pepsi cup full of what I hope was Pepsi. There is a gif on Tumblr of Roman sniffing the cup and smiling. I'm pretty sure Dean was drunk the entire time, or at least buzzed. I mean, the pictures WWE took for their Instagram (on which Seth Rollins commented on one, which was hilarious), Dean looked like he was having the time of his life on Bourbon Street.

Earlier in the night, Seth was pitching one of his little fits and that led to him making a match with.... wait for it.... J&J Security. And Joey talks! That was... unexpected, actually. I still feel like this whole thing with Seth proclaiming he doesn't need The Authority is leading to something, but I doubt it's a face turn right now. I don't know what, but it's leading to something.

Anyways, Dean sat in the audience with his beads and his popcorn and acted just like the rest of us when we watch wrestling (at least the people that actually get into it instead of being assholes). He watched as hilarity ensued. He then added his own little touch of craziness by distracting Seth long enough for Joey to roll him up for the pin. It was fucking hilarious. I made this joke after the match - "So does this mean J&J Security are next in line?"

And to add insult to injury, Dean hit the Dirty Deeds on his former brother and climbed up a ladder, holding HIS championship high above his head while the New Orleans crowd cheered him on. Fuck, I hope he wins and Roman doesn't turn heel. Gah.

Hopefully Money in the Bank will be good.