*Nicoles POV*
The movie is almost over, and I dont think I can keep my eyes open any longer. From what i see, Jc is pretty tired too. I lied my head on his shoulder and instantly fell into a deep sleep.
....
I woke up to the birds chirping through the windows and in the same exact position I fell asleep in last night. I hurriedly looked around to see if anyone was awake, and thankfully no one was. I dont exactly want anyone to know I cuddled up with Jc last night. It sounds stupid but I just dont want anyone to know. And I especially dont want kenny to know.
I slowly and carefully got out from under Jc's arm and went to the bathroom, being careful not step on anyone in the process.
Looking into the bathroom mirror, i look horrible. My hair is still in the pony tail from yesterday, my mascara was all over the place, overall, I just look horrific. I locked the door, and started to take off my clothes to get into the shower. I did my usual daily routine, take a shower, get out, get dressed, wash my face, brush my teeth, floss, blow dry my hair and do my makeup.
I checked myself once over before I stepped out of the bathroom only to see everyone still sprawled out on the floor sleeping. I sat on the couch and opened my laptop. I logged onto Twitter and tweeted something,
"Im just not sure."
With that, I closed my MacBook and set it onto the couch side table. Jc shuffled awake but I pretended not to notice, my eyes were glued to my phone. As I was scrolling through twitter I stumbled upon a picture that was all over my timeline and in my mentions. It was a picture of Jc and some girl kissing and holding red solo cups. Probably a party. I couldn't help but get a feeling in my stomach. I felt....jealous and angry. I physically had to calm myself before I freaked out. So I got up and grabbed my jacket.
"Where are you going?" Jc asked looking up from his phone
"Somewhere." I said emotionless. I walked out of the hotel room and made my way to the elevator. I hit the '20' button and threw my PINK jacket on. The elevator stopped and I got off.
The roof. An Ideal place to clear your mind and organize your thoughts. Its pretty nice up here, its not furnished, but it has a fantastic view. I strolled to the edge of the roof and leaned myself on the little wall that was built on the edge for safety.
(Italicized text is her thoughts)
What am I doing...? Why can't I just be happy? With Kenny. Im such a bad person. I don't know what to do. I never wanted Kian to find me. As much as I missed him, i was better off Hidden. There were no worries. It was a carefree life, simple. But now its the way its always been... complicated. It's actually not him. Its Jc who causes all of these emotions. These events. Its him I didnt want to find me.
I looked down at my ring and started to cry.
Why does Jc have to be in the picture...? He always ruins everything! I can never have a normal life when he's around. There's always a problem! There's always a feeling.
I started to cry even harder. I sat on the ground in a crissed-crossed position with my back against the wall. All I thought about was Jc.
Why does he have to be so charming? Why does he have to be so destructive?
Why does he have to be so handsome?
Why does he have to make me happy?
Why does he have to lure me in with
his... everything?
Why does he have to break my heart?
Why does he always mend my heart?
Why can't I move on?
Why can't he move on?
Why does he have to be so funny?
Why does he have to be so caring?
Why do I still love him?
I heard something come from the door that leads back to the elevator, so I wiped the tears away and put my head down pretending to be fine.
"There your are!" Connor told walking up to me, "Jc told me you went off somewhere, so I thought you'd be up here. And here you are!" He said cheerfully. I lifted my head to see him, and his facial expression turned from happy to worried.
"Are you alright?" He asked kind of motherly. I shook my head 'no' in response. I continued to sob knowing its okay to because its just Connor. He'll understand
"I dont know what to do Connor" I sobbed
"Whats wrong?" He asked taking a seat next to me and rubbing my back.
"Please keep this between you and me?" I asked
"Of course" he assured
"I think... im still in love with Jc" I admitted beginning to cry harder
"What makes you think that?" He asked in a calming voice
"I still have feelings for him" I said
"The same feelings you had when you were dating Two years ago?" He asked
"No... stronger" I cried
"What about Kenny?" He asked
"I dont know..." I whispered
"Are your feelings for Jc stronger than what you feel for Kenny?" He questioned. I nodded and went in for a much need hug. As he hugged back, all I did was cry. Here I am in Orlando Florida, supposed to me having the time of my life with my best friend and my boyfriend, but instead im on a roof with my other friend Connor, crying my heart out in his arms.
Who knew a guy could cause me to encounter all of these emotions at one time.
"I think you should tell Jc how you feel" Connor broke the silence
"And tell what to Kenny?" I sniffled
"Tell him how you feel" he repeated
"Hes gonna be so heart broken..." I whimpered
"But he'll get over it. You shouldn't marry someone because you want to spare his feelings. Marriage is something you do with the love of your life. Marriage is vowing to commit yourself to one person for the rest of your life. And you should do it with someone you love the most. In this case its Jc. Your in love with Jc. And running away isn't going to stop the feelings your feeling for Jc. It may stop them temporarily, but as you know now, feelings never go away. Especially love" he explained
"Your the best Con" I told hugging him tighter,"I can always count on you to talk to" I smiled
"Your welcome" he smiled a cheesy smile
After Connor and I's chat, he went back downstairs and I stayed on the roof for a little longer. I need a little more time to clear my mind and calm myself down. Plus, its a beautiful day. Why not enjoy it?
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-nicole♡
