Illuminated // Phan (boyxboy)

Chapter 2

They couldn't have been asleep that long as when Dan woke with a frightened start and with the feeling that something wasn't right, he had grumpily stared out of the window as he noticed that the moon was still out and nobody else was up in the care-home. He was trying to see if there was something wrong for him to have been woken at such an ungodly hour, he usually slept through the night; dead to the world and then rolled out of bed the next morning only after his alarm clock had blared out Muse for a good ten minutes.

He looked down at Phil, about to smile when he realized that the sleeping boy next to him was probably the reason he had woken. Arms flailed wildly as if trying to run away from something and with deep wrinkles of anxiety etched onto his ashen face, Phil gasped and cried out into the silence of their bedroom, filling the room with his terror. Dan was at a loss for what to do, how on earth was he supposed to wake Phil up when the boy didn't like to be touched? He tried to settle for facing Phil and attempting to whisper calm words into his ears to create an air of calmness in the hopes that Phil would feel soothed, but when one of Phil's flailing fists hit him squarely in the face and he could feel blood slowly starting to drip from his nose, he realized he had to wake Phil up at all costs before one of the social workers ran in. Dan wasn't entirely sure of the social workers yet, he didn't know if any of them would help or if they were as bad as he had imagined.

Phil's state worsened as he cried out in a harsh, frantic scream but underlying there was a melodic voice than Dan could only imagine was beautiful when not begging at unknown fears. "Dad, p-p-please no! I'l-l be g-g-ood b-b-b-oy I-I I promise! Please don't hit me, DAD!" Phil screamed out, tears coursing down his face like rivers, "I won't-t t-t-tell anyone; I swear!" Dan could feel his heart plummet at Phil's words as anger surged through his veins, he wasn't sure if he would be able to wake Phil up without feeling the need to punch the wall and risk further scaring Phil.

Dan took the headphone that had fallen out of Phil's ear and placed it in there once more as he had done when they had both fallen asleep earlier that night before playing an episode of some random Anime he used to watch when he was Phil's age and downloaded it as an audio file for when he couldn't be bothered to listen in class. He hoped the common theme tunes and voices of the characters would be able to get through to Phil better than he'd been able too; he couldn't afford to be too loud waking Phil as he wasn't sure about how the social workers would react, he couldn't afford for he and Phil to be placed in different rooms.

He messed up his own bed quickly and chucked pillows down to the floor to make it seem as if he had slept in there all night to avoid any questions from the care workers if they did come in to their room. He couldn't risk being taken away from Phil, especially now when it seemed as if the younger boy was starting to put some trust in him.He couldn't jeopardize how far Phil had come, even though it was barely anything; it was a start at least.

After what seemed like an eternity Phil bolted up straight, panting and gasping for air, eyes wild with panic like a feral animal. Dan was about to lay a hand on Phil's shoulder when the younger boy bolted from the bed they had both slept in and ran out of their room hastily before he had slammed the door to their bedroom, as he dashed down the corridor to the bathroom. Dan barely had time to acknowledge what had happened before he heard Phil retching into the toilet violently and the muffled voice of the head-care worker, Scott. For a while that's all he could hear was Phil sobbing and the soft voice of Scott as he tried to soothe the distraught boy. After Phil had stopped being sick, Dan heard him and Scott slowly heading down the corridor back to their room. He hopped up onto the top bunk and faced the wall as he kept his eyes open to make sure he could get a glimpse of Phil. He let out some muffled breaths into the pillow as he tried to make it look as if he was asleep and hadn't been too disturbed by Phil's vicious nightmare.

Scott brought Phil into the room, surprising Dan by having an arm around the boys shoulders and waist as he lugged an almost sleeping Phil back to bed. Scott stared down at Phil and the iPod that was still unlocked and playing an Anime, before shaking his head and smiled it as he moved it on to their dresser and placed Phil in bed underneath Dan's bunk. He could hear the feeble whispers of a shattered Phil as he resisted sleep, obviously to afraid to be submitted to another nightmare that same night. Dan could just make out the words of "Hold on just one minute, Phil. You won't have another nightmare tonight, I promise."

After he had stroked the mussed up hair of the sleepy boy, Scott stood up and called out to Dan, "I know you're not sleeping, can we have a word outside a minute, please?" They left the room together as Dan cast cautious looks back at Phil to check that he was alright. He felt to protective of the boy to just leave him in the dark when he had just had such a rough night.

"Wait, Scott, shouldn't we leave the light on for him, what if he gets scared?" A look of surprise flit across Scott's face before he nodded in agreement and flicked the light on for Phil before he shut the door behind them. Dan was about to explain to Scott that he hadn't done anything to make Phil scared and sick but his words were cut off by the grave tone of the care worker.

"Dan; I know you didn't upset Phil, I can tell how hard you're trying for Phil to trust you. I was the one who shut your curtains and saw the two of you tucked up together." He smiled as he remembered his shock at seeing the two boys cuddled up next to each other, Dan's arm loosely draped over Phil's torso and Phil's head tucked in the crook of Dan's neck.

"For the last year, I've been the only person that Phil would allow to touch him, he only showed his emotions in front of me. The only times he ever cried was when he was in his room or when he was with me. Otherwise he was this collected facade, I tell you Dan, it was scary, he's so young and yet so hurt. I only tell you this because I know if Phil lets anyone in, then he'll get attached very quickly; he wouldn't leave my side for two weeks when he first moved here last year." Scott frowned as he pictured the ways Phil used to be and for the majority of the time how he still was.

" Phil, well he hasn't had the best life before coming here, more so than the rest of the kids here I'll admit. His parents neglected him, ignored him from birth, that's why he hates the quiet room so much, it reminds him of the silence of when he was locked in. Unfortunately it's standard social services procedure for a child to be safely put in the quiet room until they've safely worked off their anger. His parents soon moved on to abuse alongside the neglect, Phil won't tell us the full extent of what happened to him but we need to know Dan, if we don't build up enough evidence against Phil's parents they could still gain rights to visit Phil. You've probably already realized that Phil barely talks, don't pressure him into it, he has his little book, he's happy to communicate with that. "He placed his hand on Dan's shoulders as he sensed that the boy was probably in shock after hearing about Phil's past, he knew he certainly was when Phil had finally started confiding in him.

"It's getting late now, kiddo. Why don't you head back in there next to Phil and keep him safe?" Scott explained and as Dan turned away he was called once more, "And Dan? Thank you, I get the feeling that you're going to help Phil better than any of this therapists or social workers and maybe even me. Goodnight, Dan Howell." Dan smiled at his words before he walked back into the room he had already so quickly come to love and cuddled up next to Phil, ready to protect his boy from anything and anyone with every fiber of his body.