Illuminated // Phan (boyxboy)

Chapter 11

A.N// Okay, so this chapter and the next is going to be quite angst-y but I think most of you will have already guessed that seeing as Phil is an abused child who is visiting the person who has hurt him for so long. However, I promise there's going to be some Phan fluff really soon, it's near Christmas in this fic after all ;) Also, hit me up on tumblr because I'm trash; fuckuplester. This story has some themes in it coming up that some of you may find difficult or unable to cope with; if this is the case, please message me either on here or on Tumblr and I will break down the story for you with only crucial key-points to the plot.
The phanart as the picture was done by xelanave for Illuminated and I'm absolutely in love with it! Click on the picture to see the full picture and I'm obssessed - thank you Evan, my smol jellybean, you really made my day <3

Phil's pov (for once!)

His head was going to burst here. There were too many people all having loud, rambunctious conversations and none of them connected, they all fell on deaf ears like a broken constellation. He wasn't going to panic here. He'd already promised himself that much, well more importantly in his mind he had promised Scott and Dan that, they'd already had to put up with his unstable episodes too often lately.

He kept his head down to the floor, too scared to look up. Immediately, he felt his breathing hitch when an arm was put on his shoulders and he flinched away, unsure of who it was.

The arm on his shoulders pulled him to a stop and when he was hit by a familiar scent he knew it was Scott. "Hey, Philly; how are you holding up?" Scott queried softly, Phil nodded tensely in reply. Hoping that Scott wouldn't take it any further but he knew that no matter what the outcome was, they'd have to have one of Scott's special "I know you're not okay after that/recently," chats.

The truth was that Phil had the option to not go see father, they would never force him to go if he was that against seeing him. He knew that Scott and Mitch along with everyone else at child services involved in his case were extremely interested in getting what had happened out of him but still, they would never make him go. He had to see him but he couldn't tell Scott why, he just had too. He had no choice really.

"You know we don't have to do this, don't you? We can just go out for a while until we have to pick up Dan and then go for food. Nobody would be angry at you if you wasn't comfortable enough right now; you've been under a lot of pressure lately. Don't force yourself into doing this Phil," Scott whispered down to Phil, watching how the relief brought a sparkle back into Phil's cerulean eyes before it was dulled down again.

Phil wanted to cry of relief and dance merrily whilst thanking Scott copiously, but he couldn't. He had to see him and he could feel that ball of unease growing inside of him but instead he still shook his head; he had to do this.

He gulped nervously and stood away from Scott and watched the understanding flare in Scott's eyes; Phil really didn't want to be touched right now. Every bump of a person brushing up against him in the large crowds was pushing him deeper and deeper in to panic.

He kept his eyes trained on the floor, comforting himself with the repeated pattern of the flooring. He wanted to just keep walking and walking until the visit was over but for the second time a hand pulled him back, only this time the hand wasn't so gentle. A sense of dread filled him as he looked up slightly already taking in the sight of tall legs and the scent that he had once lived with; pure evil. He could feel another hand subtly pushing his fathers off and he was glad that Scott was there with him today. He always said he wanted to be independent but without Scott there he knew that his father would have knocked him one right there.