My Teacher, My Lover (Cameron Dallas Fanfiction)

Part 12

January 10, 2017

~Jade's POV~

"Yo! Where'd you go last night?" I ask Erin as soon as I reach my locker beside her.

"You kept zoning out on me and Jackson so I thought maybe I should just leave," she replies, closing her locker. "We're you thinking of him the whole night?"

"For a little bit, yeah," I respond in all honesty. "And then I started thinking, if I started to date another guy, would I be able to forget about him?"

"And who's this guy that you're talking about?" she curiously asks.

"I know you won't agree to this but I was thinking Reed," I reply.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she asks and I shake my head. "Jade, no! His only going to use you."

"I'm also using him to forget someone," I slightly shout, while we begin to walk to our Math class. "And his been following me for a year and he hasn't given up yet. Don't you think he needs a chance?"

"Whatever," she replies under her breathe. "But don't tell me I didn't warn you if he broke your heart."

"I wouldn't be that broken, Erin," I replies, entering the math room. "I'm just trying to forget someone."

••••

"Everybody, please stand up," Mr. Dallas cheerfully says after the bell rang.

Everyone in our class stands up from our chair and move to the side to have more room.

"From now on, before we start on any lessons, we'll be doing an activity every class," he explains. "It's an honesty game. Just to control your emotions from anything bad that could happen. I'll ask you a different type of questions and you have to answer it in all honesty, ok? No one will judge anyone, is that clear?"

Everybody nod their head. Mr. Dallas picks up the attendance sheet and start calling random names up.

"Ms. Hutcherson," he calls my name first.

I look up to him and I quickly caught his gaze. I look away from his eyes and try to focus.

"What's the deepest feeling you don't ever want to feel anymore?" he asks me and I let out a loud sigh.

Deepest feeling I don't want to experience anymore. Loneliness. Feels like no one cares. Anxiety. Depression. Sadness. Insecure. Fear. Useless. Rejected. Broken. Never good enough. Love. I definitely don't want to feel love anymore. It's just breaking me down from pieces to pieces and no one will pick them up. No one wants to fix my broken heart. No one wants to fix a broken girl.

"Jade?" I heard someone whisper beside me as they tug on my shoulder which made me break out of my thoughts.

I blink a few times and notice that everyone in this room have been watching me think.

"Will you excuse me, please?" I ask him, my voice breaking as I look up to his breathtaking eyes.

"You're excused," he replies, with confusion in his eyes.

I quickly walk out of my desk and out of the room. I fast walk to the nearest bathroom I could find. I make sure no one's in the bathroom stalls before I lock myself in the bathroom.

I didn't dare to look in the mirror. I know I look like a mess. The mirror don't need to shout that out. I lean my head back to the wall and slide down. I curl myself, placing my knees in front of me. I rest my face on the palm of hands, trying to control of what I'm feeling.

Do I really like him this much? It is so impossible to like a person when you have only known him for a day. But it seems like I've known him for so long while we were having a conversation yesterday. Why can't I stop thinking about him even for just a minute? Why is he always in my mind? Why can't he leave my mind? Am I really having this feeling towards him?