Buck's Baby (By Accident)

Alleviation

Buck hardly left Aidan's side for the next 3 days. For the first day, Eddie stayed with him, but then he'd had to go back to work, leaving Buck alone. The 118 had done their best to stay in touch between shifts. Hen had sat with Buck for 4 hours after a gruelling 24 hour shift, despite Buck's protests. She'd been relieved by Bobby, who in turn had been taken over by Chimney. Buck noticed they seemed to be taking turns at checking in on him, making sure he knew he wasn't alone in this. It was endearing, much more so than when he'd been under their watchful gaze post lighting strike. It had been Eddie that had forced Buck to sleep at his own house, rather than at the hospital. He'd sat with Buck while the younger man cried in Aidan's nursery during his first time back home, only leaving when he knew Buck was 100% okay to be on his own. Buck couldn't help but feel a bit guilty that his and Eddie's relationship had been put on the backburner since Aidan's admission to the PICU, and he was worried that all this time apart would give Eddie time to realise that he'd been making a mistake, just like he'd said after the kiss.

Between this and Aidan's condition, Buck felt as though his emotions were eating him up inside. He wasn't one for therapy, but he couldn't help but wonder if now was the time to see someone about all this before he exploded. Maybe that's why he called Bobby and asked the captain to come over to Buck's for coffee, which was how Buck found himself on his couch nursing a scalding hot cup of coffee and Bobby handing him a slice of a cake he'd bought over.

"Hanging in there, kid?" Bobby asked as he eased himself into the armchair next to Buck's couch.

"I think so?" Buck responded, fiddling with the mug's handle. "The doctors say Aidan seems to be responding well to the antibiotics and they're confident he won't need the ventilator within the next couple of days".

Bobby arched an eyebrow in Buck's direction. "Okay, that's great news and I'm glad to hear it. But I was more asking how you're doing".

Buck let out a long sigh, scrubbing a hand over his face. "Honestly Bobby? I'm exhausted. I haven't slept properly since the night before it happened because I'm either at the hospital or I keep waking up to check my phone every hour to make sure I haven't missed a call from the nurses".

Bobby hummed sympathetically as Buck continued.

"I can't get the image of him lying in Hen's arms at the daycare out of my head. He looked so – I thought he was dead, Bobby!"

Bobby placed a hand on Buck's knee, the pressure reassuring.

"You're one of the strongest men I know, Buck. And that kid is like a carbon copy of you, but with ginger hair. If he's anything like his father, he's going to be just fine. But, I know exactly how you feel. I lost my kids and not a day goes by where I don't miss them. We're all here for you, Buck. You don't need to walk this path alone".

Buck shot Bobby a small smile. "I appreciate you, Bobby. And everything you've done for me".

"All part of the job, Buck" Bobby replied with a smile, raising his mug to his lips.

The two sat in silence for a moment, Bobby watching Buck closely as if he could tell the young man was withholding information from him. Finally, when Buck felt like he was going burst, he broke the silence.

"There was, uh, one other thing I was wanting to talk about" he said, somewhat hesitantly, going back to fiddling with the handle of the mug and not meeting Bobby's eye. The older man set his mug on the coffee table and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"Fire away" Bobby said, trying to sound as open and supportive as possible.

"It's about Eddie" Buck said, looking up at Bobby fleetingly before continuing. "The reason him and I were mad at each other the other month was because, well, he uh, he kissed me. And then told me it had all been a huge mistake".