𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨✔️

7

one week later

kasir omri solace

"kasir...kasir." i heard over and over making my eyes slowly open.

zora was over me and was dressed,"i was letting you know i'm finna leave, but if you need anything call me." she said and i nodded rubbing my eyes.

last night she slept over at my place just cause,"okay i will." i said before yawning.

i watched as she left out my room then i grabbed my phone.

karsyn: goodmorning love ❤️

xayvion: good morning pretty boy🖤

i replied to both of their texts then went to the bathroom and did my daily routine of getting ready.

it was about 10am and i needed to go grocery shopping anyway, this way it wouldn't be a lot of people.

i put on a pair of black jeans and an oversized hoodie, i usually get insecure sometimes about my body shape...it was kinda more on the feminine side and i didn't always like the looks i would get.

i put my locs in a high ponytail then applied a light layer of carmex to my lips my phone started ringing making me grab it.

it was xayvion, i answered the call and grabbed my keys,"yes xay?"

"xay? i haven't heard that before." he said and i laughed a lil.

"what you doing?" he asked as i walked through my condo.

"finna go to the store, i see you're in your office." i said and he nodded.

"been here for 2 hours, i get off at 5." he said.

"okay, what karsyn doing?"

"still asleep, he won't wake up till 12."

"why you say that?" he answered my question wit the smirk on his face.

"nevermindddd." i dragged out walking to my car.

"stay on the phone wit me till you get to the store."  he said and i internally smirked.

"aren't you at work?"

"what i just say kasir?" he questioned back and i shrugged.

"ion know you might have to repeat it." i said and he smacked his lips making me laugh.

❀ ❀ ❀

i walked through the store while pushing the buggy, so far i had a case of water, a few bags of chips, some bathroom necessities and noodles.

i was lookin at some microwaveable meals as i checked my bank account before a notification caught my eye.

cashapp
xayvion sent you $200 for get some extra shit while you out

i shook my head before calling him,"why in the fuck-"

"you better use it." he cut me off and i groaned.

"i don't need it."

"i didn't ask if you need it, if you send it back imma keep sending more." he said making me smack my lips.

"okay..." i said as i looked around and froze in my place.

"so you gonna use it righ?" he asked but i couldn't respond my feet were stuck.

i was staring right at amari, and it didn't take long for him to also spot me.

"aye? kasir you there.."

"y-yeah...i gotta go.." i said as i threw random meals in the buggy now, trying to pretend it didn't feel like i wanted to shit myself right now.

"you don't sound-" i hung up and quickly started walking towards a more crowded area.

he wouldn't do anything in front of a lot of people right?

i tried to calm my breathing down as i made my way to self checkout, a lot of people were using it.

"you okay?" a female worker asked as i scanned my stuff.

"i can tell your panicking and your face is slightly red.." she said quietly as she helped me bag some things.

"yeah- sorry just thinking." i made up an excuse.

i could tell she didn't believe me but she nodded her head,"i can help you get your stuff to you car."

"i would appreciate it." i said and she followed me outside.

we got to my car and i opened the back door and started putting stuff in as she helped me,"was there someone in there making you uncomfortable? i can have someone run the cameras." she said as i closed the doors back.

"no, thank you tho.." i said before grabbing the buggy to place it wit the others.

❀ ❀ ❀

i stood in the shower and let the hot water run down my body, it mixed with the hot tears on my face as i tried my best to keep myself together.

when i got home from the store i put all my groceries up and took a nap, but the nap ended with me having a nightmare about my old relationship with amari.

i stepped out the shower and dried myself off before wrapping a towel around my waist, my head was starting to pound from all the crying i was doing.

i walked back to my bed grabbing my phone seeing i had a miss call from karsyn making me text him telling him i was in the shower and he immediately started calling me again.

at least it was regular call-"yes karsyn?" i mumbled once i answered.

"hey kasir!- wait repeat that?" he said and i internally groaned.

my voice sounded all groggy from crying,"what?" i asked.

"you okay? you sound tired or sumn."

"sumn like that." i said as i looked for a pair of boxers.

i found a black pair that came mid-thigh then grabbed an oversized hoodie.

"oh.. do you need to talk about it or anything?" he asked and i ignored the lump in my throat.

"nah..look im about to go to sleep i'll talk to you later." i said before hanging up.

i put on moisturizer then put on the clothes i pulled out before heading to my kitchen.

i went into my cabinets and grabbed the bottle of patron, i popped it open and leaned my head back as i poured it into my mouth.

i took large gulps as i ignored the burning sensation in my throat and ears.

i cleared my throat as i sat on my counter and finished about half of the bottle. i sighed as i looked down at nun in particular as my eyes glossed over.

everyday i have to try and move on from my last relationship but it truly broke me in ways i couldn't imagine.

i try to ignore the feelings he gave me that i somehow still have, and not the romantic kind.

the feeling of worthlessness, fear, being lonely- not capable of being loved.

i loved being around karsyn and xayvion but i was scared at the same time...what if they realize they don't want me either.

i jumped down from the counter and stumbled to my bed, i turned on R&B playlist from my phone and played it on my tv at a low volume.

my phone went off and i checked it.

xayvion: karsyn says he wanted to check in on you and he misses you, i do as well. i hope you're doing okay we're here if you need us kasir 🖤

i loved the message before placing my phone back down, i at least wanted him to know i saw it.