Family Ties

24K Gold Casket

July 7,2009....

Roberta's POV

Today is the day I Never imagined ever coming , the day I have to bury the love of my life and the father to my children . The service is today at 11 this morning at the Staples Center. The decision to have this service on stage felt right. That was his actual home . Putting together this ceremony wasn't easy at all but thank God for family . Both sides of the family mines and his came together to help me put together not one but two services . The first one was private and was for close friends and family to privately grieve . It was soo respectful that there was only one paparazzi photographer . They didn't even take pictures of his casket . I got my three dressed for this day . Madelyn has been a really big help when it came to being strong for her siblings . She is grieving and she tried her hardest not show anybody but when there's nobody around she does cry and weep. Her birthday is next month and she's not ready to celebrate it alone . It has been a tradition for the past 13 years that they celebrate their birthdays together . My. heart breaks for her in too many ways. Rilley has had to have a lot of therapy due to him being traumatized of that day . Unbeknownst to me Rilley was in the hallway when Conrad was "trying " to save Michael's life . Conrad called Rilley name because that was the first person he saw I guess but you don't just bring his child in a room where his father is hanging on to life . Rilley told me what he saw and that he was never going to sleep again . So let's back track ... after we left the hospital that evening we went back to the house and I packed as much as I could and left our home and went to mines because the thought of being in our bed was too much . Rilley was having a hard time processing what had happened and he definitely didn't want to go back in the house and I don't blame him at all . We have been here for two weeks now and I know eventually I'm gonna have to go back to pack . Until then our home is a crime scene and there's a intense investigation going into what happened to Michael because after his autopsy came out I was told that it wasn't a accidental death it was now consider to be a homicide . The lead detective has been keeping me informed every step of the way and for right now I feel some type of good knowing that Michael didn't die in vain . He will get justice . We will get justice .
After the kids get dressed I sent them down stairs while I try to process my brain to put on my clothes for this service . I was sitting on the edge of my bed with my hair wrapped in a. Towel and my body being wrapped in a towel as well when I felt a presence sit down next to me ...

Marlon: Hey sis you know you have to put in your clothes .

Me : *stares blankly * it's crazy I never saw this coming , I never imagined that i would have to put on a dress to get ready for the funeral of my husband ... it's hard to do that ...

Marlon: I completely understand . I didn't think I would have to bury my little brother . Putting on my clothes this morning to go to a funeral was something I didn't see and believe me I haven't stopped thinking about him since that day .He will live in all of us and most importantly your children. 

Me: Yeah I know it's just my body and my mind are in two different places because this isnt my life right now ? * tears sliding down my face in realization* 

Marlon:  our family now have to stay together. and be strong for the children. Our family will never be. the same . I can tell you though that he definitely wouldn't want you to cry at all , that was his biggest worry was that you would cry over him  you crying at all made him really sad .  My brother loved you more than he loved music and we all know how much he loved music you was his everything he didn't do nothing without you in my mind you have to believe that and you also have to believe that you will see  him again ... we all do .  

Me: That is true He was family I can't even put into words what or how I would feel if something happened to my brother . You're strong Mar you're strong .