Tansy of the Wilds

Chapter Nineteen

They didn't speak of night by the fire, not the next day or the day after. Tansy rambled, far more than she ever had. Nerves making her anxious and her anxiety making her talk more and more. If it bothered him, Xer'tal never said. He would grunt, nod, and make a few comments where it seemed like he needed to. They still walked side by side, he still helped her over fallen trees or at one point, lifted her over a massive road washout due to rain, but the tension was thick between them. A palpable tension of unspoken words and unrecognized desires.

Tansy was hesitant about it, she was. She had never felt like that before. There had been a few younger men when she had first come of age that she had sex with. She was nearing twenty-six. She wasn't a blushing virgin nor did her family expect it of her. It was an unspoken rule that the Wilde children were free to explore but if pregnancy happened, so would marriage. She had always been careful but after a few years of men wanting to have sex with her but wanting little else to do with her she had just stopped.

But not one of them had made her breath hitch in her chest or had desire running through her veins like molten stone. Xer'tal had awakened something inside of her that she had never felt before and there was a part of her that whispered to give in, to ask him to join her late at night. But the smarter part of her, the one that held her heart, told her that if she did that, if she fell into that and he then left, it would devastate her. Tansy felt like she was already half in love with him already and if she gave into the weighty attraction, broke that palpable tension that lingered between them, the moment he walked away her heart would be broken in a way she knew she wouldn't be able to fix.

So she didn't. She kept it locked away. She smiled at him, nothing was different, absolutely nothing, because she couldn't risk her heart, not like that. He was going to leave, she knew he would. She had only hired him to get her home safe and as they stared at the large wooden walls of Wilde's Lumberyard in the distance, her heart felt like it was bottoming out in her belly. She wasn't ready to say goodbye to him, she wasn't ready to let him go.

Tansy's feet started to drag, her walk becoming more meandering. She slowed down because she wanted to make every second count, every step count. She didn't want to say goodbye. She didn't know if she had the strength to do it. And if Xer'tal noticed, he said nothing. He simply slowed his pace to match hers as they walked in silence, the walls growing taller with each step. It was more a fort than a lumberyard but they needed things to be safe, especially once the bandits got more numerous and bold. However it looked stifling now.

And when they reached the gate, Tansy looked up at the archway that spelled out Wilde's Lumberyard and she swallowed hard before she looked at the orc who had been so diligent in protecting her the last week. Who had been by her side and changed something inside of her she wasn't sure she could ever change back. She looked at Xer'tal and found she couldn't say goodbye, not yet.

"Do you... would you like to come in, have a bath and rest for the night?" The words slipped out before she could stop them but she didn't regret them as he looked back at her with those garnet toned eyes. "It's the least I can do for all your help and it will be getting dark soon." She couldn't bring herself to look away from him as he stared back at her. "The bath, food, and lodgings would be free." She added at the end, wanting him to say yes, wanting him to stay for just a bit longer. "And then maybe I can talk to my father about paying you to help me go to Berget." She fiddled with her fingers as she studied his face, the rough but strong features that carved out his orcish heritage.

"A hot bath and a decent meal, hmm?" His voice a pure gravel rumble that skipped across her skin as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I'd be a fool to pass up on such a temptin' offer. So, I'll selfishly accept yer hospitality and save my departure for another day." Tansy found herself beaming at him and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards, just ever so slightly. "Don't look so relieved, woman." His tone turned just a faintest hint teasing, "Your chatter will still be a sweet agony to my ears." That had her giving a chuckle, a relieved one at that. He wanted to stay, at least for a bit longer.

"Lead the way, Tansy Wilde," Xer'tal gestured at the open gate with his head, his eyes on her and she reached over, tucking her hand into the crook of his elbow, leading him through the large gates. She was smiling so wide it hurt her cheeks almost but she didn't care.

"I'll show you the bathhouse!" As they walked inside, Tansy noticed the workers were all packing up to retire for the evening as the sun started to sink below the horizon. No one looked at her or Xer'tal, all of them were busy clearing their stations to go home. She didn't know what to think about that so she shook it off. "It's warmed by an underground hot spring. That's why my great grandfather decided to settle here and make Wilde's Lumberyard." She continued rambling as she led him to the stone and log building.

"There's some towels and some clean clothes in there. You're not the first orc to stop in, so there should be something to fit you. Takes as long as you need. I'm going to let my papa know you're here, I'll get you some food and then I'm settling you into my cabin because it will be free tonight." She would stay in the big house and give him some privacy, although a perverse part of her liked the idea of him being in her space, sleeping where she slept. "I hope that sounds good." She gave his arm a gentle squeeze as she looked up at him.

"At the risk of becomin' an unbearable chatterbox like ye, I'd say this sounds better than good, Tansy." He gave a small nod at that as Tansy pulled open the bathhouse door, a heated wave of humidity washed out. "Make sure the food is good, woman." His tone was almost playful as he said it, as was the mock-threatening glare he sent her way before he stepped into the bathhouse.

Tansy smiled as the door closed and she almost did an excited little dance before she lifted up the hem of the cloak and her dress and bolted for the big house. She made it inside and after a flurry of kisses to her face from her mama and the trade negotiation papers handed over to her father, she explained about Xer'tal.

"You used the coins I sent with you on a bodyguard?" Tansy's papa, Ricktus's voice was exasperated. "That was for the kobolds, Tansy." The censure was clear in his voice and Tansy fiddled with her fingers.

"But I got attacked by a bandit and I told you, kobolds don't understand coins or use them and I wouldn't have done it if I didn't think I needed too, papa." She really hoped he would understand why she did it. She had needed to hire Xer'tal. It was for her safety.

"Ricktus, she's home and has come back with a success. We would much rather have her home safely than killed for some coin." Her mama's voice was soft as she touched Ricktus' shoulder before smiling at Tansy. "Go take your new friend some stew and then get him settled. We will see you both in the morning."

At her mother's words Tansy nodded. She hastily got two bowls of stew with two large home made buns before her parents changed their minds. Shortly after that the door to the big house closed behind her and she moved quickly over the ground to go to the bathhouse.

She was excited, elated even, over the fact that he was staying for just a bit longer.

Tansy really didn't want to say goodbye. Not quite yet.