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Jungkook
I hate the feeling.
I really hate it.
I hate the idea of staring at the woman who is currently sleeping on my chest without any worry, any hint of stress but pure peace she has been living on while she just burns down something inside my chest like a flame.
I have been staring at the woman like I’m some kind of creep. Why does she have to be this innocent looking? Why does she have to be this intense? Why does she has to be too soft, too breakable, too vulnerable, too delicate? Why?
I don’t want to hurt her but I have to.
Probably the worst feeling I’m keeping in my heart. My chest burns with the thought of the look in her bright hazel eyes when I’m going to hurt her. That pair of bright hazel eyes are going to be dimmed once again after I snatch the light. After I hurt her.
But the question is—do I really want to hurt her?
If I don’t punish her then it would be injustice to Olivia’s mother, after all, she was a part of my life. Probably it could have been different if she was alive or maybe I would still find a way to catch Liliana. Probably Liliana Elsher was meant to be with me.
Probably she was meant to be punished by me, she was meant to be ruined by me, destroyed by me. She was always mine. I just didn’t realize it. I should have realized it when I first saw her at the party almost six years ago.
I still can remember how that hazel eyes were roaming around every corner, how she was wondering, how her pupils were getting bigger and smaller and if I had the slightest idea how Lily and her boyfriend was accusing her, bullying her, I would have make it easy for her, I would have warned them, or maybe I would have kill both of them that time. Eventually I did, I killed both of them.
I’m so fucking confused and this is the very first time in my entire life, I’m feeling this way. The urge to keep her yet hurt her, the urge to destroy her, break her into pieces and put them back together. The urge to kill myself thousand time before even seeing the sadness in those bright hazel eyes which seemed to be alive now.
I made them alive which were dead a long ago.
Thinking of the people who just made her realize that she’s ugly, she can’t do anything and she’s useless, I wish to find each of them and rip their soul apart to make her feel this way. What makes me even more mad is that she doesn’t value my words. Whereas I call her pretty, which she really is. She is the prettiest. Yet she goes for some cheap chicks who don’t have any work other than bitching around about other people.
Finally withdrawing my eyes from Liliana’s sleeping, innocent face, I clutch my phone and dial my manager’s number.
“Find out who those girls were around Liliana and fire them, make sure they don’t get any acceptance from any modeling agency.” I cut the call before hearing anything and take the packet of cigarette, plucking one, I place it between my lips and light it up.
