𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀

Chapter 1

What's this flabby area? Why does it move like water every time i walk? I thought it was just a bloat, but it's been getting bigger for the past couple of months, my legs look fine, so do my arms and my face, so i'm guessing all that fat storage is coming from my lower stomach. Growing up i was alway skinny, but this is the biggest i've ever gotten, it feels like an ant hill every time i rub my stomach, it used to be smooth and flat like a table. I suck in my diaphragm to shrink it, but once i let go, it sticks out. I'm disappointed, i just got done eating a big bowl of cereal. The guilt has sunk into me long enough and eating more won't make me better. I felt the need to change, i went to the family computer to look up tips on how to lose belly fat. The first thing that popped up was exercise, which i despise. The second option was eating well, food that's high in fiber and protein, but low on fat and calories. "What's a calorie?" I typed out. "Calories are the amount of energy released when your body breaks down." Images pulled over, showing the back of a package where the top says "Nutrition Facts." I dashed to the kitchen and pulled out the box of cereal i just ate. "140 calories per cup." So a calorie is something every food has? I scrolled further and saw a link that says "Calorie calculator." Out of curiosity, i clicked it. "The calorie calculator can be used to estimate the number of calories a person needs to consume. For example, if you're a male above 6'1 with a healthy BMI, you'd need to eat somewhere around 2'500 to maintain your weight. But if you're a female below 5'0 with a overweight BMI, you'd need to eat anywhere below 1'600." This website needs my weight, height, age and activity level. I stepped in the bathroom to use my mothers scale, 132 pounds. I'm 13, 132 pounds, 5'3 feet tall and my activity level is little to no exercise, i summited it. To be able to lose weight, i need to eat 1,200 calories per day. I don't even know how many calories i ate today. Maybe i can calculate it since everything i ate has a "Nutritional fact." on the back.
So i had somewhere around 1,600 calories today. And most of them were junk, including the big bowl of cereal. It's no where near 1,200 calories. I looked at the calorie calculator again to see how many calories i'm supposed to eat to maintain. "1,700 calories for maintenance." If i want to lose weight, then it's best if i start now. I went to my room to take notes, i pulled out a notebook that was supposed to be for my algebra class. "To be on a calorie deficit, i need to eat 1,200 calories per day." I whispered to myself. I wrote all the snacks from the pantry that were less than 200 calories, like granola bars and yogurts, and made a meal plan for tomorrow. I wrote what i'm gonna have for breakfast and lunch tomorrow, but i don't know about dinner since mom is usually the one that plans it.

"Why haven't you eaten dinner yet?" Mom entered my room without knocking.
"Oh, i'm not hungry."
"Then stop eating so much junk." She slams the door.
I continued rubbing my pencil on my sketch book, i was almost done with the sketch and planned on making more tomorrow.

I grabbed my camera as i was ready to walk out the door, i got a quick glance at my mirror and did a little twirl. I can see the lower belly fat sticking out from these jeans, i have on a plain t-shirt, fuzzy gloves and a handmade scarf, since 60 degrees already hit, even though it's still summer. I suck in my stomach holding my breathe, i still didn't feel comfortable, i yanked my navy blue sweater from my closet and put it on, much better.
Unbelievable, these trees are already glowing orange. I walked near downtown Augusta as i hear the sound of my boots stepping on the crispy leaves. I pretty much took every photo in downtown, except for the museum, i always pass it since the pattern and design of it looks difficult to outline, but i decided that it was time for a new challenge. I flashed my camera towards the museum, taking different angles of it. I ignored the "Do not feed the ducks" sign and crumbled stale potato bread to the ducks. My last stop was the record store, but my watch pointed "12:00 pm". It's time for me to go, or else mom's gonna beat my ass. I jogged to the bus stop, till suddenly some man with a hood on bumped on my shoulder from behind, almost like it was on purpose. My camera dropped on the concrete sidewalk, making a "clunk". My hand was near it, but the man picked it up first. "Rita? Is that you?" I looked up and it was Owen, one of my middle school buddies, he's gotten so tall and has a much deeper voice. "Oh hey!" I said. "What have you've been up to?" He puts his hood down. I'd love to talk to him, but i can see the bus piling up. "I was just taking some photos." I looked down at my camera and turned it to make sure nothing was cracked. "We'll i just got done getting some supplies for school and-"
"I gotta go!" I interrupted him, i ran and got in just in time. As i sat down, i noticed how dizzy i was, my sight suddenly got darker and black spots started to appear. Maybe because i haven't ate breakfast today, my stomach is already quaking.
"Brunch: Yogurt and white cheddar." I wrote on my notebook. I was still hungry, nobody said being on a diet is easy but it's harder than i thought. I went back on the family computer to look up ways to distract myself from eating. There was a list, one said exercise which again, i despise. The second said eat more fiber, so like berries, bananas, potatoes, ect. Because it's suppose to fill you up. The third says drink more water than usual, not only will it trigger the brain that you're full, but it's also a great way to detox your body and fasten your metabolism.
Dinner is ready, i sat on the dining room table with my younger sister Rachel, My mom and my dad. Mom scoops out a big cup full of fettuccine pasta with creamy Alfredo sauce with a hit of black pepper. It's my favorite dish, but i don't wanna throw all that hard work away. I tried to guess how many calories were in the cream and parmesan from the sauce and fettuccine pasta.
"Rita, eat your food!" My mom demanded, she knows it's my favorite dish. If i don't eat it, then i'll feel guilty for wasting it, which will make mom miserable. But if i eat the dish, then i'll feel guilty for adding unnecessary carbs and fats into my body. I took the fork, nibbled little bites and chewed thoroughly. Instead of dipping my fork and spinning it in the pasta, i only placed one noodle on it and take big gulps of water before swallowing. Everyone's plates were empty, except for mine, i only ate half.
"Why didn't you eat it all?" My mom asked.
"I'm full."
"Alright, well i'm gonna put it in the fridge so you can eat it tomorrow."
I leaped out of the dining room table and went straight to the computer. I'm terrible when it comes to measurements but i'm guessing i ate 1/4 cups of Alfredo sauce, 250 calories. And i ate 10 pieces of fettuccine shaped noodles, 200 calories. I opened my notebook and start adding what i had in total today, exactly 1,200 calories. I'm proud of myself.

I can't stop being restless in bed, i'm moving side to side to find a comfortable position to sleep, the growling noises kept waking me up. My body must've reach its first stage of extreme hunger. I looked up at the ceiling, as i try to doze off.

It was morning, i went to the bathroom and i can tell my stomach has gotten flatter and the hunger is gone. I decided to finish my sketch of the museum, the last thing i needed to do was the shading. I wrote my signature on the bottom left as a sign of  "completion." i ripped it out of my sketchbook and placed it next to all my other projects hanging from the wall. As i got up from my chair, that dizziness feeling came back again, it was more intense than yesterday, it was like a static effect. It faded away as i stood still and continued with what i was doing. I admire each and every sketch i've done this past summer. At the beginning i started with basic abstract objects like jars and mugs, but drawing an object is something everyone can do, plus there's no background, just plain white from the paper and a shadow pearing from the object, so i got into architectures, where i can sketch branches surrounding it and taller architectures from behind.
School is starting next week and i'm not ready. I released a sigh. The oaks peaking through my window are almost dead, leaf falling one by one from the freeze.
I am sheltered, but goosebumps formed from the outside breeze.