𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀

Chapter 9

"I don't know what else to do Mrs. Kouris. Your daughters eating problem is severe." The lady continues blabbering while i rest my head on moms shoulder. "Have you heard of Washington psychiatric hospital?" I lifted my head up and paid close attention, we looked eye to eye. "Are you saying that?..." My mom asked. The lady nodded.

I ease-dropped through mom and dad's conversation as a flutter of anxiety shivered upon my spin when i heard my name being called out. "I don't think we should take her there." Dad said. "She should or else she's gonna kill herself." Mom said. I noticed something pulling on me, i turned and it was Rachel nagging on my sweater, she wants me to continue playing candy crush with her. Mom entered Rachel's room to have a talk with me, she called the CEO of the Washington psychiatric hospital, it's gonna be a 3 hour drive there, i can see the redness in her eyes and hear her quivering voice as she's speaking. She also said she'll let the principal know that i'm no longer gonna be attending school. "Then where else am i gonna study?" I asked. At this moment, i had so many questions, my main question i wanted to know is. "What's it like being in a psychiatric hospital?" All i know is that i'm going to live in Washington for who knows how long, without my family. I went back to my room, with the blinds covered and only a peak of light flashing through my ceiling. I'm not prepared.

"Rita, i want you to listen." I gazed through the window and see the bushes and the leaves pop back into their green color. "I don't want you to interact with anyone in this hospital, you're gonna see people who are 'unfit' to the public eye." If the principal knows, then does that mean everyone else at my school knows? "Rita!" I jumped. "Are you listening to me?!" We arrived to the hospital, mom spins around to find a parking spot as i look up at every detail of the building. I thought it was gonna look like an actual hospital, but instead, it looks like an abandoned apartment but the rare trees and plants around it make it look so unique. I only brought my sketchbook, my camera, my writing utensils and my cellphone.
After saying my goodbyes to mom. The nurse gave me a tour around the hospital, there were patients out of their room and i can feel their stares. She shows me the cafeteria, the main office, the music room, the art room, an inside pool, the tennis court, and the wash rooms. I made eye contact with a grown woman crisscrossing on her bed singing on the top of her lungs. The nurse stops me to my room, i went in and see deep scratches on the walls, an oak chair, an old fashion television and an unsanitary twin bed with only one pillow and a blanket. "Do you have your cellphone with you?" She asked. "Yea, i do." "I'm gonna have to take it." I looked at her confused and asked her why. She didn't give me an answer, her eyes pointed at her open hand then back to me.
The nurse comes back with a protein shake, an apple and a greasy Philly cheese steak. "I'm not hungry." I repelled. She brings the plate closer after telling her many times. Once it was near my face, i kicked it, the Philly smeared on the walls, the protein shake spilled and the apple left a bruise and rolled out. Suddenly other nurses started walking in and pinned my arms to the bed, i quickly stopped panicking. "I just wasn't hungry." I argued. I didn't want any trouble.
The nurse came back again with the same tray, she placed it on my lap and sat on the oak chair, i chump on an apple first, which by looking at it, has 90 calories. I grabbed the boxed protein shake, i flipped it over and spotted no nutritional facts. I sobbed and sobbed, but the nurse just sat there and watched. She made sure there were no crumbs left on the tray, my stomach felt solid and it was already cramping.

I carried my camera and left my room for the first time, the hallway is completely isolated, i scanned around to look for nurse Eva. "Whatcha doing missy." The old nurse asked.
"I'm looking for Eva."
"Miss Eva is only available on afternoons. Is there something you need?"
"I was wondering if i can walk around outside and take some picture for my sketchbook, this building has such beautiful surroundings."
"You can't leave the building." She shook her head. I paused, i wasn't expecting her to say that.
"Well can you go with me?"
"That's not how it work."
Suddenly one of the patients snatches my camera without my knowledge. "Gimme that!" I took hold of it but he was pulling the strap. He yanked it, causing the camera to fly and hit face first on the ground, patients heads started peaking through their rooms once they heard the crash. I picked it up and the lens were cracked. "You fucking bitch! What the fuck is your problem?!" The old nurse pulled him away as he was kicking his feet. I had my full attention on my broken camera, turning it and memories washing off. "Fucking hate this place." I stormed off to my room and slammed my door. There comes a knock as i was already curled in bed, i heard of a voice of a woman i haven't heard from. It was one of the patients, she has such a angelic voice. I examined her, she was the skinniest person i've ever laid eyes on, her legs are the size of my arms and i can touch my finger around her waist, that's the body i want.
"You know that boy you called a bitch was Leon right?"
"So?"
"Do you not know who Leon is??"
"No! Why the hell should i care?"
She closes the door behind her. "Leon is one of the most dangerous patients in here, everyone is scared of him because he tortures and tries killing people. He almost killed his younger sister, that's why he's here... I heard him say he was going to kill you."
"I don't care. In-fact, don't wanna be here."
"No one does... What's your name?"
"Rita." Have i made a friend?
"Marlee. What are you in for?"
"Anorexia."
"Really? I have bulimia and body dysmorphia."
I looked at her stunned. "I thought you have a fast metabolism."
"I wish." She shrugged.
"Your like the skinniest person i know, you have to teach me how to be this skinny."

It was breakfast, i decided to sit with Marlee, there was another patient sitting next to her but i didn't mind. "Do you know how to do the tongue method? Where you put the food under your tongue and spit it out later?" She asks. "Yea." We went mute as a nurse walks pass our table slowly, we got back to our conversation. "I wish i knew how many calories these have." My fork poked on the bowl of porridge, caramelized grapefruit and a glazed cinnamon bun. "The oatmeal has 245 calories, the grapefruit has 70 and the cinnamon bun has 410." I looked at her for a second. "How do you know?" I asked. "I've been here for half a year, i know what ingredients they use." I stirred my porridge, i removed the hardened sugar out of the grapefruit and start mashing it, i drop it on my porridge and took little bites and chewed thoroughly. I could only finish half, so i ate somewhere around 170, that's too many calories in one meal, i just hope my other meals won't be more. "I know i told you about this but please becareful with Leon. I'll always have your back if you ever feel cautious."