𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀

Chapter 7

"When can i go home?" This is the 10th time i've asked my nurse. I want to go home so i can get back on my diet, i know i gained weight and i don't want to continue doing it.
"Follow me." She takes me to a different room, i sat as she takes my blood pressure and my temperature. Last thing she needed was my weight, it's been a full week since i stepped on the scale, my chest starts pounding and my hands grew cold. "Before you step in, i need you to turn around." She insisted. "If i do. Will you promise to tell me?"
Healthy isn't the word i wanted to hear. I begged her to tell me the number but she refused, my breathing became unstable.
"You promised you would tell me." 
"I did and i said your weight is healthy." Such a pain in the ass, i don't want to be defined as healthy. I followed her back to my room.
"I'm gonna call your mother to pick you up."
I took my last rest on this bed, my head tilted left and i spoted her clipboard right next to my hoarding desk, the same clipboard she used in the other room. I snatched it and scan through to find my weight, 110 pounds.

At least i don't have to deal with that cunty nurse anymore. Mom drove me home with her glitchy radio on. Rachel and dad gave me a welcome hug, thankful that i'm back home. We had gnocchi with marinara for dinner, i acted as if i'm better but each bite i took i wanted to scream. It's a quiet night and i looked in the mirror, i could tell i gained weight just by looking at myself. I look bloated, and my stomach hurts from my nurse forcing food into me. I sucked in and sucked out, i clinch my fist and began punching. I punched each and every piece of flabby skin, i continued punching, even if my organs felt it, i yelped as i witness a sharp pain on my right side. I hate myself i hate myself i hate myself. Why was i born with a body like this?

As i was catching up with my school work in English, i was called to the principals office. Awkward stares followed upon me as i was walking out, i bet it's about my school work i've missed over the past week. I sat on the wooden chair in front of my principal. "Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" She asked, holding her hands together. "Is it about the work i've missed?" I asked anxiously. "We'll get to that later. How are you feeling?" What? Does she know? "Can i get back to class?" I said feeling uncomfortable. She pulls out her glasses. "Rita. There's a reason this school is different than other schools around Augusta. We care for our students and their health, we treat them as if they are family. What ever you are struggling with, we are willing to help." I'm speechless, it's unsettling that she knows about my eating problems, i feel like the whole school knows. "I'm okay, i promise! Can you at least tell me what work i've missed over the past week?" I tried changing the subject. "That's something to discuss with your teachers."

"Rita!" Juniper, Prudence and Lydia jumped out. "Where have you been? We missed you!"
"I just got sick, that stomach bug came back again but don't worry i'm fine." Together with their arms hanging out, they reached in for a hug, i miss them too. For once, i actually believe that they're important to me, these are people i need in my life, i want to spend time with them, even though i mostly like to be alone.
After no breakfast and lunch, my weakness came back, but i want to go out for a jog. Get yourself together Rita!
I went back home, not only did i jogged for 30 minutes, but i also brought a scale from the store since i couldn't find the one in my parents closet. I hid it under my bed, along with my laxatives. I heard footstep, i quickly bounced in bed. "Where have you been?" Mom glared at me suspiciously. "I went to get more records." I lied. "You better not be running outside again." She suddenly throws me a bottled. Chocolate protein shake, high in calorie and nutrition, i flipped it over. 450 calories in this 8 fl oz bottle?! "Where did you get this?"
"The nurse wrote you a prescription. You need to drink one per day."
"She says that i'm healthy, i thought this was over?!"
"These were 40 dollars, drink it or you're grounded!"
I don't remember my nurse telling me i have a prescription, she must've done this behind my back... I couldn't finish the bottle, the texture was creamy and it tasted awful, how can something high in calorie taste so nasty? I only drank half of it, which is 225 calories. I opened my window and pour the rest outside.

I sat right next to Juniper as usual, it's real quiet, the only noise's i hear are the back seat kids laughing, yelling and pencils at each other. I asked how her morning was but she refused to look me in the eye. The bus stopped in front of the school, i got up and couldn't wait to walk with her to our first period class, but she walked out before i even grabbed my backpack. Okay? That's strange.
"What's the matter?" Owen noticed my gloomy expression. I struggled it off. Juniper, Prudence and Lydia didn't speak one word with me the entire school day, we always talk everyday, something's not feeling right.

I came up to Owen as he was already walking on the track field, alone. "Are you sure you're okay? Your making that face again."
"Junny, Prudence and Lydia didn't talk to me at all today. It's weird because we talk everyday." I said as i'm watching my feet walk step by step on this dirty faded field. He let out a "Oh." Not like a questionable "Oh." But more of a uneasy "Oh." "What?" I snapped my head towards him and watched his lips quiver as he's finding words. "Yesterday, after school. Juniper came up to me and asked why you were at the hospital." I interrupted him. "Hold on! I already asked her this and i told her i had a stomach bug." I argued. "Seriously Rita? What's up with you lying about having a stomach bug? She didn't believe you so she asked me." He argued back. "I don't want her to know the truth... What did you tell her?" He stopped walking, and said nothing, but as i looked him in the eye, the answer was right in-front of me. "Owen. That's personal. Why did you?.." I walked out.
I slammed the door and threw my backpack. No wonder My friends didn't want to talk to me, they see me as a complete freak. I checked my cellphone, it flashed that i have 4 missed calls from Owen, the 5th called appeared. My thumb was so close to the decline button, but something in me says i should take it.
"Why did you walk away? I thought what i did was right?"
"You know what you did was wrong."
"I didn't know it was a big deal."
"They hate me because you told them! They hate me because i lied and they see me as an insane motherfucker with an eating disorder!"
"They don't hate you. In fact, Juniper was frightened when i told her, i'm pretty sure she's just worried."
"If she's worried then why won't she talk to me?"
I hung up.

I stepped on the scale, 102 pounds. Wow! that's a dramatic weight lose for only 4 days, i've only been drinking half of my shakes and eating moms dinner, most of it i hide under my tongue. Seeing that number boost my confidence, i went to the bathroom to have a good look at myself. The skin from my collarbones started to loosen, my bottom rib is popping up, my hip bones are also showing but i still have the lower belly fat sticking out. I look down at my thighs and see a gap, best part is i'm not even hungry.

The clock strikes 12:00 am. Out of no where, i began overthinking how i acted towards Owen. I was such a idiot back there, what he did wasn't a big deal. I should apologize. I wrapped my fingers around my cellphone to call him. I don't want to leave his sweet precious smell of cologne, his toned, tall figure, his shaggy hair the color of dark honey and his stunning look, as if a Greek God created him out of his own vision. I'll give him a chance, only because he's all i got.