𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀

Chapter 4

My mom handed me a bottle of vitamins once i told her about my lightheaded problems, she tells me that it's from the low calorie intake and that it's normal when it comes to dieting. Once i popped those vitamins in my mouth, i started to feel more motivated. I can tell my stomach has shrieked from all the less portion meals i've been eating, if i eat anything higher than 1,000 calories, i'm instantly full. It's been two months being on a calorie deficit and i've never felt happier. I had to buy new jeans and sweatpants cause my old ones wouldn't fit anymore. I'm currently 105 pounds, but the fat is still sitting on my lower belly, i'm not giving up till it's gone and it's smooth like a polished table again.

I just got done with my morning jog for the weekend and my cellphone starts buzzing. "Hey Ree! I'm calling to let you know that Me, Prudence and Lydia are going to the Bean Sprout Café. We've haven't hung out in a while, so do you mind coming?" Juniper said.
The Bean Sprout Café? Me and my friends used to go there all the time. I remember last year i always ordered the giant croissant with melted semi chocolate inside that'll gush once i munch a big bite, with a side of hot chocolate and with gooey marshmallows. But that's not what i'm gonna order, i'm gonna order a healthy alternative, maybe an ice coffee with sugar free syrup and almond milk. "I'm on my way."
I hold my ice coffee with sugar free vanilla and almond milk as i'm searching for my friends in this crowded place. My eye caught a hand peaking out, that's definitely Juniper.    
"Those jeans make you look skinny." Prudence said.
"On second thought. Did you lose weight?" Juniper asked.
They don't know that i'm on a diet, i'll feel embarrassed if i tell them. "Did i?"
"What's your secret?" Juniper said with curiosity.
"Oh, well recently i've been having this stomach bug, so i've been losing my appetite lately." I lied.
"Uh huh?"
"But don't worry, it's gone."
We walked around downtown to do some shopping, their whole conversations were about boys. I can't believe Prudence is still with Jackson ever since that whole situation with her and Annabelle, he's kind of an ass for not defending. Like isn't that what men are supposed to do to when they're in a relationship? After Lydia was done talking about her crush, it was my turn. "What did you and Owen do after he invited you to his house?" Juniper asked. Everyone "Ooo" and my cheeks grew red. "We were working on a art project together!" I said awkwardly. "Right." It's true though. I hate it when they bring up Owen, yes i think he's cute and we hang out, but that doesn't mean we're dating. "Look! An antique store! I need to get some decorations." I changed the subject and got in quickly so i can escape the conversation. Smells like a granny in here. This place seems pretty vintage but it's dirty and i can feel the dust squirming in my lungs whenever i breathe. Are those stained glass wind chimes? I gently took hold of them, they look like broken pieces of the windows from the church Owen goes to. It's almost his birthday and this would be the perfect gift, i love the way they clink into each other like a melody.

The last bell rang. "Hey Rita, can i talk to you in private?" Owen asked. Owen and i knew what's the best place for private conversations, the track field out on back. Almost everyday we walk around it together, only if there's no tracking or football practice. "What is it you wanted to talk about?" I asked. "Your friend Juniper has my phone number, i don't know where or how she got it, but she's been spamming me voice messages. Saying we look like a cute couple, if i like you, personal questions and i think she's flirting with me." I paused, my eyes widened as i heard those words drop. "Give me your phone."
I caught Juniper having a conversation with Lydia in the hallway, i speed run towards her and shoved her. "What the fuck Junny?! Why do you care so much about me and Owen? I'm tired of hearing your mouth moving all the time, it's sickening that i've told you so many times to stop asking me weird questions about him. And stop sending him voice messages, i've listened to all of them!" Her body's still. She didn't respond, just stared at me in terror. I walked away as my eyes filled up. I rushed back to the track field and i find Owen sitting on the bleachers. "Rita! What's wrong??" He got up quickly as he saw tears running down my face. "She won't leave me alone." I hiccuped. He gave me a hug, my snot and tears accidentally landed on his jacket. "Don't worry about her, i blocked her number so she should be able to keep us in peace." I'm not crying because she's been harassing us, i'm crying because she's a different person. What happened to talking about our favorite albums? What happened to talking about our favorite movies? What happened to talking about our favorite video games? She just talks about what our favorite boy is.

Owen introduced me to a small restaurant near his town, it's an authentic German cuisine he says. We followed the hostess and she placed the menu's on our booth, i scan through the menu and there was nothing healthy. No vegetables, full of fried food and big portions. "I already know what i want. What about you?" He asks. You know what, since i'm in a great mood, i think it's time i eat something enjoyable. "I think i'm gonna go with the schnitzel with a side of potato dumplings." I put the menu down.

We wait for our food and Owens starts telling me that this restaurant is his dads favorite, because it reminded him of the time when he was living in Berlin. Born, raised and married there. "So you were born in Germany?" I asked as i'm playing with my straw in my ice lemon water.
"No, not quite. Dad moved to Sweden cause he got a job there, and suddenly my mom got pregnant with me."
"Ohh that's cool."
"Then we moved to the United States." The waitress appeared and put down our hot plates of fresh food. The crispiness of the schnitzel felt satisfying and the starchy potato dumplings were my favorite. But i could only eat 5 bites of it, i looked at the schnitzel and poked it with my fork as i wait for my appetite to bounce back.
"That's it?"
I stopped poking and faced him. "Huh?"
"Is that all you're eating?" My eyes peered at his plate and there were only crumbs and gravy left.
"I don't know, i get full easily."
"Are you okay."
"Hm?"
"Rita. I've noticed something, different about you." His tone sounded low. I stopped slouching and sat up straight.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know how to describe it, and i don't want to point things out but, your face structure looks thinner, you're bonier, your collarbones are showing, and that shirt you're wearing is baggy, that's the shirt you wore two months ago and it used to fit you perfectly..."
I smiled and shook my head. "Owen, i'm fine. Okay? It was just a stomach bug, it's gone now." I lied.

Todays the day i step on the scale. 109 pounds?! This can't be right, i took multiple breaths and tried again, the same number showed. My breathing became hyper, my limbs trembled and wrathful tears started to form. It was probably that schnitzel i had last night, i looked at myself in the mirror and began punching my lower stomach as a sign of punishment, every hit became harder. I curled my naked body on the floor as my hair starts to get wet from leaking tears and sweat. I picked myself up, my face and neck is heated, along with my puffy beet red eyes. Fuck it, i'm not eating anything today.