All for Myself {dallyboy}

Notebook

{Pony's POV}

I pull out the chair at the kitchen table, and set my notebook down along with my pen. I hold it steady and just let the words flow out.

'Sept. 25, 1975,
Today I've been thinking a lot about everything that's happened in the past weeks. After the incident and what happened with me and Johnny at home, things are finally going back to normal. I haven't seen him for two weeks.
Now I feel stupid, because I've got another dumb thing on my mind. I feel so alone. In a relationship way. I've got my friends, I think a good amount, but I want more than that. So much more. I want a guy to hold me, to take me out on dates, to kiss me. I want my first love, I want to make love and it be real and genuine, not something I have no choice in.
I guess what really got me thinking like this is Johnny and Bryon. I've third wheeled on three of their dates already. I don't want to come off as jealous, but that's exactly what I am. Not of Bryon or Johnny, but what they have together. That's why I'm writing it here, I think if I told anyone they'd be annoyed with me or tell me to get over it.
The other problem is, I know exactly who I want it to be. Dallas Winston. People always say he's too tough or hard on the outside, but he lets me see so much more of him. Not only that, but he's cute, funny, and charismatic... well very cute.
That night he cradled me in his arms, he payed attention so well. The morning after I never wanted to leave his embrace, his fuzzy chest and arms. I'm getting butterflies just thinking of his smirk, the tears he shed for me, and his caring attitude. I could only pray he felt the same, he probab-'

I heard the new front door swing open as Steve and Two Bit fell into the living room, probably drunk as hogs.

"Ahhhg!-" I choked out before slamming the book closed suspiciously. crap.

"Well i'm sorry princess, did we interrupt something??" Two slurred as he fell over the back of the couch.

"No." I said, picking up the book and pen. I was staring at him wide eyed. Two was my friend, but I knew a drink made him as wild as Dally. Same for Steve.

"Aw, come on Pony-Bitch, let uhs see-" Steve said with slanted eyes as he made his way over to me sloppily.

"No, man come on, please-"

He snatched the book into the air, way to far for me to grab. I jumped to no avail as I felt someone grab my arms from behind.

"you guys suck!" I whined as Steve flipped to the newest page I wrote. 'oh shit.' They were gonna read about Dally!

I struggled more but Two's arms were too strong, even when he was wasted.

"'his fuzzy chest and arms.' What the hell?" Steve held to page closer to his eyes, and I could see him scanning over the words. He looked from the book to me, and then back again.

"ohkay..." He said awkwardly, before closing the book and laying it back on the kitchen table.

"yeah-" I pulled out of Two's grip, which had loosened. He looked confused, his buck teeth standing out.

"what, uh- what was it?" he asked after waiting a long time.

"nothing, nothing man. Hey you ready to go home man? i'll walk ya."

"S-sure. I guess." He still looked dumbfounded and confused. Great. He was either really drunk, or just stupid. Either was possible. Steve wasted no time and scurried out the door, Two following behind, not breaking his stare at me.

That was close, I hope they're too drunk to remember. I close the door, and I decide to hit the hay. Darry and Soda would be back a little later, probably.

I take the book with me to my room, putting it under my side of the mattress. Now my night terrors had started to fade again. Still, I needed Soda with me for those times when it got really bad.

I took off my jeans and sweatshirt, and crawl into the blanket, keeping the lamp on so they could see when they got home.

•••

{Dally's POV}

She pressed me up against the bathroom counter, her lips were covered in this lip gloss that tasted like rotten apples, and I was pretty repulsed not gonna lie. She tried to take my hand, and she put it on her waist as she continued trying to french me.
It was too much tongue, but I let her. Then I thought about what Ponyboy might think if he saw this. Not that he liked me, but I wanted him to. I dropped hints a lot, but I think they flew over his head. For paying attention to words all day, he wasn't very good with recognizing when I flirted with him.

I pushed her off of me, I couldn't do this right now. Not that I didn't like girls too, I just had someone on my mind, and when that happened I couldn't think of anyone else.

"It's not you, I just can't right now." I said, standing up straight and off the counter.

"whatever, you asshole..." she says, pushing me out of the bathroom and slamming the door.

I knew Steve and Two had left about a half hour before, which is why I thought it was weird to see Steve walking towards me, with Two trailing not far behind. Darry and Soda left not long after. I watched them pass Johnny and Bryon, who were hogging each others faces. The party was winding down, so most people were so drunk they passed out or couldn't tell who was a boy or girl anyways.

"Steve, why're we back here, this ain't home!" Two said, Steve kept walking regardless.

"Dallyboy, do I got the biggest news for you-" Steve slurred.

"Oh boy, I wonder." I said sarcastically. I was still leaned against the wall next to the bathroom.

"It seems someone has a little crush on you-" he giggled out, close to my ear.

My eyes widen as Steve keeps giggling like a drunk bum at a bus stop.

"Well- who is it...?"

"Ten bucks."

"Five or scram."

"Good enough." He sighs and takes the crinkled singles from my hand. It was three bills folded over each other but he'll find out when he isn't so wasted.

"You'd never believe it was...." he leans further into my ear. Two leans closer to try and hear him too.

"Ponyboy!" he grins widely, chuckling with slanted eyes.

The light smirk on my face drops completely.

"Oh- Dal, he's just a kid, you know you don't gotta be mad, he's just tryna figure himself out... please don't be mad at him..."

I looked around the party, I'm overwhelmed. Pony really likes me. Steve keeps talking to me, but I'm zoned out.

"...so anyway he's just a kid, he talked about that night, y'know? So it could just be that."

"huh?"

"He wrote about that night he stayed over, about your big muscles and your manly hairy chest." He chuckled awkwardly, trying to make me laugh.

"he really likes me back..." I said putting my hand on my chin in thought.

"what dal?"

•••

{1237 words} I told you! Love you all, Matty. Stay gold-