Still into You [GxG]

56.

My arms automatically stiffened by a sudden hand touching me but immediately relaxed knowing it's Silver "Sorry Riri, I didn't mean to scare you" he softly says as he sit in one of the chair.

What happened hours ago doesn't sit well in me. It keeps on nagging my mind, occupying the sanity that I'm safe but I can't help it. I saw Wong, he utterly marked something terrifying in my system and to add that there's Byron and worst—Sabrina who's being directed to a mental facility is making everything so, so worse.

"Just—it's fine, I'm fine..." then look down to my phone that is directed back to Jace contact number.

"Still not answering?" right now I feel like the worst mental breakdown is slowly attacking my mind. I even became giddy, my feet keeps on absentmindedly tapping and my hands—god! It can't stop shaking.

And for the 16th time, Jace is not answering her goddamn phone! When all I want right now is to hear her voice, to know that she's safe and Wong hasn't got to her.

Really? What's wrong with me bitting down my nails now?

"Reese. Calm down. She's safe okay? Maybe she's just busy" Silver trying to fill excuses for Jace absence. "Maybe they're busy talking to the doctor or Jade mom is introducing Jace to the dean—we don't know. But sure she is safe and stop worrying to much"

He hold both my shoulder to keep me still, "breathe Reese"

I nodded, but completely doing the opposite of breathing by holding it and just exhaling air....and all suddenly I feel like there's so many overwhelming emotions swarming insides.

"Shit" I hissed. I can feel my nerve getting so wrecked right now.

That this chills is crawling from my cold feet up too my head and it's getting me messier up there.

I gripped his shirt as my mouth is doing too many exhales "Reese stay with me and breathe with me okay?" I nodded but breathing isn't enough, I felt like choking, that my chest is slowly tightening, closing, that no matter how I try to gasp for air, I barely couldn't.

It fucking feels like there's something inside my throat that is blocking the airway and making me choke...

I can't....I can't breathe....

"Silver!" I called out and grasping his shoulder aggressively "I—I-i cant I c-ant breath!" Too aware that right now my tears were falling down.

I blink the tears away but it triggers me more after seeing them shouting something over this thinning thin noise that's consuming my hearing.

Everyone was rushing, telling me something but their voices and faces are distorted and it is making me tremendously panicky....

and the last thing is finding myself in Silver arms as I clutched my chest tightly under the unstable vision "call 911!"

- ——

"Jace?" I weakly whispered after blinking away the blinding lights.

a hand wrapped around mine and there he is—Silver sitting in the chair "she's okay Riri. I called someone to checked on her and she's in the university touring with Jade and her mom"

it saddens me but at least she's safe "thank you Silver" trying to forge a smile over disappointment that she's not the one who's holding my hand when I woke up, when I needed her the most....

"Can we—can we keep what happened just the two of us? I don't want my family to get involved or much, worry on me"

He lift up his hands to my face, gently caressing my cheeks as his thumb wipes the stray tears "I will make sure to keep the information confidential and no one at your school will know about what happened to Byron or to you"

I close my eyes as he attended the tears sliding down in my cheeks and muttered 'thank you' genuinely.

"But Reese. We need to talk about you and I need you to honestly tell me if you needed help" all suddenly he is acting stern and serious even when I smile it away "You know you can't lie when I had your paper checked back in Adelaide hospital record"

That made me burst into short sarcastic laughter then looking to him in partly dismay "Guess that's what rich can do? Having unlimited access to confidential records huh" then attended another tears.

Yet he is not deflating, not even an inch "Reese you've been to a huge trauma and it is okay to admit that you're far from okay. That you're troubled" he hold my hand tighter while I tries to control my tear to not fall from the corner of my eyes again. I wanna be strong, I wanna keep it all inside, I wanna build a wall that no one can see what's really happening "After the incident and the court trial you had your first panicked attacked, it wasn't just a simple attacked but it almost killed you. You were rushed to the hospital after having a full blown panicked attacked at the train station...you were to jump because you couldn't breathe, you couldn't think clear, someone says that you look out of mind that night but luckily someone grabbed your arms and yet no one knew other than you. I don't know how you convince the doctors to keep it a secret from your mom although she put you on therapy but it perfectly happened that I saw your record when I visited my aunt who was the doctor that evaluated your test" he paused while I'm processing every words in knotted brows "I knew it Reese"

"The reason you keep on visiting and you're always there—and now it all makes sense of why you're all so worked up flying back and forth" I say defeatedly in tears.

I'm definitely embarrassed right now. I couldn't even look straight into his eyes.

"And the burned in your inner thighs?" He asked, making me nervous again and hoping that he didn't know about it. "Are you still doing it?"

I pushed the lump in my throat while assessing his serious gaze.

"Reese you have to tell me or you'll leave me no choice"

"......no, I stopped after moving back here" but damn the nightmare never fails to hunt me every possible opportunity.

"Jace know about it?"

"No and no one has to know" I firmly stated.

"Riri, let me help you, please" he says holding both of my hand.

"I know I owe you a lot but can you include this one? Please....the last thing I want is using this stupid trauma as weakness for their sympathy. Neither never plan to have a stupid competition to who's sicker between Jade and I.....I don't want people to treat me differently just because of what happened"

"I got you Reese"