Still into You [GxG]

59.

The rain poured heavily but it's nothing to compare from what I feel inside, honestly, this feels so much better where the tears could fall without anyone noticing.

Along the students running inside their cars and some went back in building, I stand heart aching watching Jace, walking with Jade while holding out an umbrella. Her car lit up after the unlocking sound before opening the door for Jade.

I look down in my feet with a sly smile of what the hell is this feeling? But saw a familiar sneakers with the rain drops stop pouring in my body "Riri" and hearing his familiar calm tone pulled me up from the drowning sadness.

I looked up, meeting his gaze, Silver is holding the umbrella but eventually loosening and watching it falls down in the wet ground "they say, if it rains, then enjoy it" and that alone, makes me stupidly chuckle for his nonsense as I heaved a sharp breath of pain.

"You're crazy, you know that?" I say as he shrugs innocently.

But then another presence come by "Reese" her tone is flat as she's looking deadpan "Let's go" Jace take my hand before I could even complain.

But looking behind my shoulder, Silver is smiling and gesturing for me to go along.

Apparently, I'm still stuck in the backseat with Jade giving me a sad smile as she is comfortably sitting in front.

"How are you Reese?" Jade asking.

She grown thinner than the last time, I also notice the dark circles underneath her eyes although she tried to conceal it with makeup, still her eyes looked tired.

I respond with the lie that I've constantly practicing everyday, "I'm fine. And you? How's London?"

Her gaze transfer to Jace who's driving silently, "It's good—actually perfect. We visited her future university, had a tour and of course my doctor talk me out about great chances, the normal cancer speech to boost their patients confidence"

"Good to know" then look outside the window, watching the rain pouring down but can't help not feeling envious about them, talking randomly in front while I feel like, I was just barely here with them....

As usual, we dropped Jade in her condo before Jace drive us in her house with me still sitting in the backseat, not giving a damn to move in front and she didn't complain anyways.

"You should just drop me in the house. I don't have clothes in yours" I say, making the first one breaking this awkward atmosphere.

She parked in their driveway but stayed quiet while looking forward. "Reese. Do we have a problem?"

It only made me scoffed internally of how stupid is that question because we're never okay after the school break and I guess, we will never be.

"No. Do we?"

She sighed "Reese you can talk to me" then pauses, gauging me intently "what's happening?"

"I'm fine. Just tired" and let her stared while I stayed quiet before she gives up and now watching her opening the door then walk to my side but before she could pull the lever, I already did and walking past her.

We went inside their house but noticing the pictures in her room is long gone, like it is freshly cleaned.

"You can use my shirt. Go take a shower before you catch cold, I'm gonna head over to Janelle bathroom" she coldly speak then turning her way across the room.

I took a shower but it doesn't matter whether it's cold or hot since I couldn't feel the difference anyways and right now I'm looking at myself wearing her shirt that look like a dress to me, ending the hem of this above my knee but whenever I look at myself, it only reminds me of bad memories.

My eyes diverted to her through the mirror as she is standing behind and checking the fit on me "It suits you" she softly says before hugging me from the back, placing her chin on top of my shoulder.

I should be blushing after hearing her compliment and watching her expression fondly but I wasn't feeling any of those emotion—there's nothing more to feel but the emptiness that's corrupting my system.

And it made me automatically flinched when she place a kiss on my neck that I had to close my eyes to make it go away and she's aware of my reaction. 

"I'm hungry can we go to the diner?" I say, still through the mirror and watch her expression drop.

—all changing in stoic, "sure" she shortly replies before pulling away and turning around.

- ——

"Should I pick you up before our game start?" Jace speaks over their table, but when I turned around to face her all I can see is Jade sitting next to her.

Jules is nudging my shoulder while hearing Eve squealing in excitement for me.

But honestly, "You know how it bore me watching sports—I'm sure Jade can fill the spot? I'm just gonna meet you to the after game party, yeah?" Then turning back to our table but their dismay is piercing sharply into me "what? For sure everyone's already cheering while I sit dumbfounded of what is happening and who scored right?"

But only to receive a dense look from Jules before she sip on her diet coke.

And honestly? I don't think I'm gonna make it to the party.

All I want is lock myself inside my room while I lay flat and staring to the ceiling.

- ——

Looking around, I lately notice that we're already parked in Jules driveway and she has been staring at me for I don't know how long, "Reese, what's happening to you?"

"Nothing" and smile away but only making her expression more concerned than earlier.

"You've been acting strange lately" she speaks out and all I do is drop down my head, staring to my hands "I know that I told you about Jules and Jade close relationship, is this about them? Because after school break you came back like you left the Reese in Australia and bring this— strange girl, who's always quiet and definitely loves drifting away" her hands stressing out in the air then brushing over her hair in heavy sighs "Reese. I'm here—we're here, your friends remember? Through thick and thin..."

"Yeah" I say with lingering tears....

"Yeah?" She open her arms and I wiling engulfed by her warm body.

—-but how can I say, I was slowly dying inside that every seconds I can feel myself loosing to this darkness.

It is happening again.