I'm tired

Part 13

Three hours later Meredith was back in the ICU, still asleep because of the anaesthesia. He had decided to wait until she would have woken up to get the kids so that she would have some time to process what had happened especially since she hadn't had much time to do so before she went into emergency-surgery.

He sat next to her bed in a really uncomfortable chair, just watching her sleep. He himself was just trying to process all of this. Richard hadn't come by to tell him how the surgery went and especially how her other, remaining kidney was looking and Nick immediately took that as a bad sign. Because if everything was okay then he would have already told him so.

This was driving him crazy. Having to sit here and wait, not knowing what was going on. All of the sudden he felt her hand moving and her eyes slowly opened. "Hey." He said softly, smiling at her reassuringly. He didn't want her to see how worried he was while she was just waking up. He wanted to give her some time to gain consciousness again. "How'd go?" she mumbled sleepily, barely being able to keep her eyes open. "I'm not sure actually. Richard hasn't been here yet." He explained, receiving a nod from her. It was obvious that she wasn't able to process that information very quickly as she was still drugged. "Are you in any pain?" he asked concerned, stroking her hand carefully.

Meredith just nodded again, closing her eyes for a few seconds before opening them again. "Where're the kids?" she asked, looking around. "I thought that it would be better to wait a little, I'll get them as soon as we hear from Richard." He said. "Kay." Meredith mumbled, yawing. "You should go back to sleep, you need plenty of rest now. I'll wake you once Richard comes." He said, adjusting her blankets and leaning forward to place a kiss on her cheek.

It didn't take long until Meredith was fast asleep again. He was worried. What was taking Richard so long?

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Half an hour later Meredith was still asleep and Nick was starting to get restless. He kept pacing up and down the room, walking out of the room and back in every few seconds, still not having heard anything from Richard.

As a transplant surgeon he knew what that meant. Deep down inside he knew what the only possible explanation for Richard's absence was but somehow he didn't want to believe that. He just didn't want it to be true.

Taking another look at Meredith in the big bed, attached to so many different monitors, he decided to go looking for him. He needed answers and he needed them now. Walking out of the room he walked down the hall until he found a nurse station. "Excuse me? Do you perhaps know where I can find Dr. Richard Webber?" Nick asked politely, hoping that the nurse would even know who Richard was since he didn't even work here.

"No, I'm sorry sir." The nurse replied before walking away. Nick sighed, deciding to walk back to Dr. Sullivan's office. To his surprise the door was open, so that he just walked in, finding the specialist siting at her desk. "Dr. Marsh it's so nice to see you! How can I help you?" she asked, quickly standing up and walking over to him. He didn't fail to see how she quickly checked her appearance on her phone screen.

"Have you seen Dr. Webber after Mer's surgery?" he asked, trying to ignore the woman's obvious attempt on flirting with him. "Yes I have he's talking to UNOS on the phone I think- hasn't he told you anything yet?"

Nick felt his heart sank. Richard was talking to UNOS which could only mean that Meredith needed a new kidney. "Do you know where he is right now?" he asked, trying to remain calm. "Yes, I can take you if you want." Dr. Sullivan offered, signalling to follow him out of the room. "So, Nick, would you like to go out for a drink? This afternoon?" she asked and all of the sudden Nick just lost it. "For gods sake I have a girlfriend, who is very sick, so no- I will not go out with you for a drink!" he said loudly, quickly regretting his outburst as he saw everyone around them starring at him.

"Sorry I- I didn't mean to be rude I just- I love Meredith, okay?" he said more quietly, looking directly at Dr. Sullivan. "Sure. Sorry." She said as they now stood in awkward silence. "He's in there." She then said, pointing over at a door before walking away. Sighing he walked over to the door Dr. Sullivan had just pointed at and knocked. After a few seconds he just walked in after not getting any response and found Richard sitting at the conference table, filling out forms while holding his phone up to his ear.

"I've been in the waiting line for over half an hour now." He said annoyed, just as he noticed Nick standing at the door. "Meredith needs a new kidney?" he asked quietly, leaning back against the wall. "She does." Richard replied, looking down. "How long do you think it'll take?" Nick asked, knowing himself how hard it was to be stuck in the hospital while waiting for a new kidney. If he could give her his, right now, he would do it without hesitation. But since he himself only had one kidney, that wasn't an option.

"Hopefully not too long. We took out her left kidney, it was basically a single big blood cloth but- the right one is starting to fail too. I'm trying to get her on the list right now I've already sent all the files and everything to UNOS but there are still going to be people ahead of her." Richard explained.

Nick just nodded, trying to process this. "So, dialysis." He said to himself as Richard impatiently tapped the pen he was holding against the wooden table. "Do you think she can do this? Do you think- we get a kidney in time?" he asked, not even wanting to think about the possibility of losing her. He just couldn't lose her.

"I hope so, maybe- Hello? Yes this is Dr. Richard Webber." Richard suddenly said as apparently someone on the other side of the line had finally picked up. Nick quietly left the room. He didn't want to hear the conversation. Closing the door behind him he leaned back against the wall, sighing. Meredith had just lost her left kidney and was now losing her other one as well. She needed a transplant as quick as possible because otherwise- he couldn't even bring himself to finish that thought. He had just gotten her back it wasn't fair she couldn't just be taken away from him again, from her kids, her family.

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After getting some fresh air to calm himself down he was now on his way back to her patient room. He hoped that she would still be asleep because as long as she would be asleep, she would still be hopeful, she would still think that only her left kidney had been the problem and that everything was going to be okay now. He couldn't be the one to tell her that she needed a kidney transplant. But he had to. And he would rather have her hear it from him than from anyone else.

Opening the door to her room he found her awake in bed, watching the nurse who was currently replacing the IV in her arm. She was deeply sunken into the pillows, obviously completely exhausted and tired, her eyes still red from the infection inside of her body. As she spotted him in the door she smiled small, blinking slowly.

"Hey." He said, stepping closer and sitting down next to her again as the nurse left the room with the supplies. "Did you talk to Richard yet?" she asked, and he could see the tiny spark in her eyes, the hope. He didn't want to take this away from her, he couldn't. "Oh." She whispered as he didn't reply, already suspecting what was going on. "I need a transplant?" she asked quietly, her eyes filling with tears. "I'm so sorry." He said, barely being able to keep himself from crying. 

Sorry for not updating in so long =)