a kiss goodbye | vampire gerard way x female reader

12. No We're Not

after what happened between the two of us, we ate kfc together and then i went home. i was kinda embarrassed, if i have to be honest. i mean, i don't usually have sex.. especially not with hot guys like gerard. come on, he's so fucking handsome! his beautiful shoulder lenght jet-black hair that's perfectly framing his pale white face, his hazel eyes paired with his beautiful bushy brows and long eyelashes, and his pink lips.. how could you not think he's hot? it was the next day, and i laid in my bed thinking about this whole situation. i sighed, before getting out of bed. i had to get ready for school, because there was very little time left. i brushed my hair before putting on some makeup and putting on an outfit i chose the other day. i grabbed my bag and left my house.

time skip

when i was finally at school i looked around in search for gerard, but there was no signs of him. i sighed before heading to my class. i sat in silence, scribbling in my sketchbook. "i wonder where he is.."  i thought to myself, before focusing on the lesson.

it was now the third period, and i sat with ray as usual. we were talking about everything and nothing, updating each other on our lives. of course I didn't tell him about me and gerard, what the fuck? ...but i wonder if he knew i broke up with frank. i sighed, looking around the classroom. still no signs of gerard, and it was almost half the lesson. i felt hopeless, stressed and just basically weirded out. i kept on wondering if having sex with him was a bad idea. maybe he felt forced? maybe he didn't want to fuck me? god, I don't know. suddenly my thoughts were stopped when someone entered the room. i turned my head to look at the door, and i saw him. the boy that wouldn't leave my mind. his gaze met mine, and i felt coldness fill my entire body, as shivers went down my spine. he sat on his usual seat, looking at the teacher kind of angrily. i looked at ray, and he shrugged.

the lesson was over, and everyone left the room. i quickly ran up to gerard, who turned his head to look at me.
- hey! - i said enthusiastically while smiling, and he just nodded, showing no emotions. i furrowed my brows a little, deciding to put my thoughts aside.
- so how's your day going so far? - i broke the awkward silence, and gerard shrugged.
- dunno, just woke up. guess it's going just fine - he said looking ahead of him, not bothering to turn his gaze at me. "rude"  i thought, and sighed.
- what about you? - he asked me, finally turning his head to me.
- it's going great - i smiled, and so did he. we just walked in silence, before the bell rang. we said our goodbyes and headed different ways.

the lesson went by quick, and it was now lunch. i headed to the bleachers, awkwardly sitting between gerard and frank. "great, two fucking assholes"  i thought, as gerard furrowed his brows. "fuck did i say that out loud?!"  i thought again, as my heart beat faster from stress. he immediately relaxed his face so i sighed in relief. i guess it was just a coincidence. i ate in silence, as the boys talked with each other.

- hey y/n - mikey said as i looked up, turning my gaze from my sandwich to him.
- what's up? - i said with my mouth full. ray chuckled a bit, before mikey punched him lightly in the arm.
- ouch! - ray whisper shouted and i laughed a little.
- wanna come over today? - mikey asked me, and i shrugged.
- i dunno - i said, and he groaned jokingly.
- come on, i have weed! - he said, as i laughed a little. i looked to the side, shrugging again, and he sighed.
- I'm gonna be there too - i heard gerard say. i turned to look at him, and i smiled.
- i guess I'll come -  i said smirking a little.
- YAAAY! - mikey shouted, putting his arms in the air, and we all laughed at him.

time skip

we were now walking to their house, in total silence. it was SO. FUCKING. AWKWARD. i kept on looking at my feet, avoiding any eye contact with the boys.
- sooo.... what's up with you and gerard? - mikey said, breaking the fucking silence. i sighed, feeling a little bit stressed.
- what do you mean? - gerard said harshly, before mikey looked at him with wide eyes.
- well.. not to be weird or anything, but i heard some stuff coming out of your room, ya know? - he said, as my eyes widened and i could feel my cheeks burning. i put my lips in a straight line, before mikey looked at me, laughing a little. gerard slightly hit him with his elbow, and he groaned.
- so are you guys... a thing? - he asked, and i felt my cheeks burning more if that's even possible.
- no we're not - gerard answered his brother's question quite quickly and harshly. ouch. that one kinda hurt. don't get me wrong, i know sex is just sex, but it still kinda hurt. i mean, why did he answer so harshly? like as if he's.. i don't know. fuck it. i sighed deeply, feeling totally horrible.

soon we were at their house. their mom was gone, so it was just us. we were sitting in mikey's room, that was full of posters. i kept on looking around while saying "wow". soon we started smoking weed, and i felt so awesome. suddenly all my worries about gerard disappeared, and i felt like i was floating. i laughed to myself like a maniac, before gerard slightly hit me with his foot. we were laying on the ground, with me between the two of them, and a blanket underneath us.

- guyssss - gerard whined with his eyes closed, and his hands on his face.
- wassup - i said and he groaned a little.
- i'm so tireddd - he whined even more, as me and mikey rolled our eyes at him.
- then go to sleep bastard - mikey said, sitting up.
- nooo I don't wannaa - mikey just rolled his eyes even more.
- come on, go to your room - he said, furrowing his brows a little. i sighed, standing up, and dragging gerard by his feet out of mikey's room. i dragged him all the way to his room, where i closed the door. i put him on his bed, before pulling the covers on him, and leaving his room.

- no! wait - gerard said quietly, as i turned my head around to look at him. i raised my eyebrows a little, putting my hands in my pockets.
- stay here... please - he said, and i couldn't help but smile.
- sure, do you want me to sleep with you? - i asked, and he nodded.
- if you want to of course! no pressure.. - he said widening his eyes a little. i giggled before taking my zip up hoodie off and hanging it on his chair. i went to his closet, looking for the clothes he gave me yesterday. soon i found them and i changed into them. i went to his bed, before laying down next to him on my side. soon i felt two arms wrapping my waist, and i smiled to myself. he moaned tiredly into my ear, as i put my right hand on his.

- i love you... - he mumbled.