a kiss goodbye | vampire gerard way x female reader

17. A Kiss Goodbye

- you what? - gerard said, widening his eyes at me
- i want you to change me... - i repeated myself shyly, as the boys were shocked. quickly gerard got mad and defensive.
- no, i won't change you yn. - he said, furrowing his eyebrows. i furrowed mine as well.
- well why not? - i said as he groaned.
- it's fucking dangerous. and it hurts - he explained, and i rolled my eyes.

- well i thought you liked me? - i said, as he looked at me with a face that said "what the fuck?".
- what does that have to do with anything? are you dumb? - he said aggressively, and i decided to leave. i didn't want to fight.
- whatever. i'm leaving - i said, and none of the boys said anything. i just left.

we got in a fight that was so childlish, but i guess we are teenagers, that's what we do, right?
i ran out of their house angry, and in the middle of the street i started thinking to myself "did i overreact?" "was it too quick?" "i think i should've waited with this question" and stuff like that.

time skip

i went to school. mikey and gerard ignored me, frank did too. i only had ray, and i was so fucking depressed.

i was now in my third period, and i had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the class to cry. i don't know why, i just felt the urge to do so.

as i sat on the closed toilet seat and cried, i saw a bat flying around the bathroom through a gap at the top of the door. my heart literally jumped up.
- what happened? - i heard gerard's voice, but i remained silent. 
- open the door. - i still didn't say anything.
- why are you crying? - he said, as i sobbed quietly. he opened the door with force, and i got scared. but i immediately hugged him, crying on his shoulder.
- please forgive me, i'm so sorry for being such a bitch - i said, as he awkwardly stood there.
- woah, chill out. you didn't do anything wrong, really - he said, looking into my eyes, and pulling me away from him.
- i guess i overreacted y/n, don't stress about it. i'm sorry - he apologized, as i smiled.
- does that mean we're back together? - i asked him, as he sighed.
- yeah i guess so - he said shrugging at me, as i smiled.

2 months have passed, and gerard was starting to lose interest in me. i could feel it. he wasn't excited anymore when meeting me, he didn't invite me over as much, and i also heard rumors that people saw him with eliza in town. i was so stressed, my heart was aching. but i wasn't shocked. i wasn't good enough for him, and lately i've been acting like a stupid spoiled brat. no wonder he got bored. maybe i was just a stupid plan to get revenge on eliza, so that gerard could make her jealous and make her come back. i was hurting so fucking much. and i didn't have anyone to talk about this. frank apologized for his behavior a long time ago, and i forgave him. i didn't really want to, but i needed a friend other than ray. but he still wasn't a friend that i could talk about this stuff with.

 we were all walking around the hallways at school, when suddenly gerard excused himself after checking his phone. and he left. we were all confused, but we all ignored it. well.. everyone except for me. i was nervous, i could feel that something is not right.
- what's on your mind? - frank said as i shook my head.
- nothing. - i said flatly, as he nodded humming. soon i excused myself as well, going to search for gerard. i knew something was up. and i needed to know what it was. i walked out of school heading towards where gerard went. i was mindlessly walking around, when suddenly i saw him. and i regretted going after him.

there he was, with eliza. my heart broke, and i felt tears falling from my eyes uncontrollably. you're probably wondering "why? he's just hanging out with her." no. they were full on making out. i couldn't believe my fucking eyes. "motherfucker." i thought, as gerard opened his eyes, still kissing eliza. he looked straight into my eyes. and he didn't pull away from her. he even deepened the kiss. that's it. i was fucking done with his bullshit. i left school, angrier than ever.

i wanted to change schools. shit, i even wanted to fucking move back to my hometown. my parents didn't have a problem with that for sure. as i got to my house, i noticed my parents were back because their car was parked in front of the house. i quickly went to the door opening it, as my mom stood in the kitchen.
- what's up honey? aren't you supposed to be at school? - she said, as i nodded in response.
- yeah, but i felt sick. - i explained, as she nodded, taking a sip of her coffee.
- hey mom, i have a question - i said hurriedly, as she looked up at me from her mug.
- what is it dear? - she said, as i scratched my neck nervously.
- can we move back to (hometown)? - i asked her as my mom widened her eyes a little, chuckling at my words.
- i'm serious. - i said with less emotions than previously, and she stopped chuckling.
- oh. well... to be honest, i'd love to go back there too honey. the new job me and your dad got is terrible, our previous job was much better. - she ranted as i just nodded.
- so is that a yes? - i asked her for the last time, as she looked over at dad. he nodded shrugging.
- i think that's a yes - she said and i jumped up, hugging her tightly.
- im so glad! - i said, ready to go to my room but she stopped me.
- why do you want to move? - she said, as i sighed.
- i don't feel good in this place. everybody is so fake.. and this school is much harder than back at (hometown) - i explained, as my mom patted my head.
- don't worry, go pack your stuff. we will go to grandma's house tomorrow, and we're probably gonna stay there for a few months before we can afford a new house - she explained, as i just nodded.
- okay - i said smiling, before leaving the kitchen. i started packing my stuff, excited as fuck. i was just about to zip my luggage, when suddenly some weird red dust showed up in my room. i started waving my hand around to get it out of the way, but it didn't budge. after a few concerning seconds, gerard appeared. i almost screamed, but remained silent. i just widened my eyes at him, and jumped up a bit on the floor. i stood up, crossing my arms and furrowing my eyebrows.

- what do ya want? - i said coldly, as he shrugged, putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans, while looking at the ground and kicking the air.
- i overheard your conversation with your mom - he said, as i rolled my eyes at him.
- and - i said, losing my patience as i tapped my foot on the ground.
- ..i just wanted to say goodbye - he said, as i turned my head to the right, before quickly looking back at him.
- alright, hurry up then. i don't want to fucking see you again. we're over - i said aggressively, as he shrugged, looking up from his feet.
- i know. but can i at least get a kiss goodbye? - he asked me, as i thought about it for a second, before sighing.
- yeah. fuck it - i said softly, as he smiled at me sadly. we slowly came closer to each other, as our lips intertwined. after a minute we pulled away, as gerard stepped back. i stared at him, as my stomach and chest hurt.

and he dissapeared.

i sighed, before going to bed. i was too tired for this shit.

i woke up around 2 am, as i felt sudden coldness on my whole entire body. i sat up straight, scared as fuck. i looked around, when suddenly my eyes landed on a note on my desk. i stood up from my bed, slowly walking up to the desk, and taking the piece of paper into my (pale/dark) hands.

"Dear Y/N,
thank you for all the memories. You're the best person i've ever known. I know I fucked up. I know what I did was wrong, but there's nothing I can do or say to make you forgive me. I know I broke your heart, and I'm sorry. I promise that I won't bother you ever again. This is the last time you will ever hear from me. I'm really sorry for all the horrible stuff I did. I hope you'll have a great life without me.
Yours truly, Gerard."