The Trial of Bruce Banner

For Rebecca

Natasha Romanoff feels the right of her body sink further and further into the bench beneath her. She closes her eyes only momentarily with a flashing memory of holding her beloved baby for the first time.

After all of the hesitation, after hiding from both Bruce and Rebecca with fear over everything that could be. Fear of attachment, fear of failure. Finally, holding Rebecca in her arms gave Natasha a sense of peace she didn't know was needed. Having a daughter gave her a sense of purpose and a reason to wake up every morning for the past few years. Sharing in this life, raising their daughter no matter the strange creation process with her husband has brought her nothing but joy, until today.

Her heart aches as a school nurse from Hillside named Gina argues her case: Rebecca is frequently sick, prone to injury, and suffers from various issues relating to difficulty breathing and healing from wounds, abnormally vulnerable to diseases...

Romanoff kicks her feet out and crosses her ankles, rocking steadily a few inches forward and backward as evidence is presented to back each of the nurse's remarks.

She's dizzy, barely conscious in the courtroom where Declin seems to be getting everything he needs from an innocent nurse whose genuine concern is being exploited and used as evidence against her family.

She regrets her presence upon noticing Banner's fixation and the way he repeatedly turns back to focus on her as if a glance could cure the pain she's feeling with every witness that testifies.

Natasha swallows and shakes her head. Drained of energy and hope, she sits back in her bench and crosses her arms.

She lifts her head, fictitiously attentive as she listens to the nurse.

"...that's when Rebecca came to me, complaining of chest pain. Upon noticing her heart was beating at an increased rate, we issued rapid testing for any abnormalities and found the evidence presented, " Gina elaborates at Declin's request.

"Miss Gina, can you explain that evidence again for the jury?" Declin asks.

"Yes,' the nurse pushing her glasses further up her nose and timidly answers, 'Rebecca Banner demonstrates symptoms of having an enlarged heart. She continues to run low on red and white blood cells post-injury, which means she is slow to heal if she falls, or cuts herself...it's a tricky thing. This is far more serious than a typical scraped-up knee I see daily. When she falls, she is virtually incapacitated as her body struggles to respond to the smallest of injuries. It's weakened cells rushing to heal an injury they physically can do virtually nothing for."

"Thank you, Miss Gina..."

Natasha shakes her head.

Hours pass, days pass.

She's hungry with no appetite. She spares only her side eye when Rebecca comes running to her with some discovery.

She tugs at her hair on a particular evening, sitting at Barton's kitchen table with a bowl of cereal in front of her late at night as the glow of the television fills the table's space.

Natasha sighs heavily as she toys with the small circles swimming in the bowl before her as they grow more significant in a pool of milk.

Despite any previous ounce of lingering hope of having her husband, Rebecca's creator, Natasha's best friend, her safety net, coming home seems to be fleeting with every passing hour.

She circles the spoon against her bowl, eyes lifting as Rebecca enters with her hulk plushie in her arms.

"Mommy?"

"I'm here, baby. What's wrong?" Natasha lowers her spoon and refocuses her attention from dinner to her redheaded daughter with her wild curls and dark brown eyes.

"It broke."

Natasha sighs and reaches for the beloved plush. It seems too appropriate for the item to be torn at its center seam.

She analyzes the problem and suppresses any instinct trained in her more black widow side to refocus the child's attention and tell her to be stronger.

An item made of cotton and dye shouldn't mean so much to a child carrying half of her DNA. DNA trained to kill. Taught to suppress emotion. Trained not to feel.

Natasha scoffs at the thought and brushes her thumbs over the plush.

It's more than cotton for her daughter; it's Rebecca's safety net. It's a solace she carries with her everywhere.

Natasha's memory of anything 'father' related remains negative due to years of trauma;

Manipulated by Ivan Dreykov to do his every bidding. Manipulated and used by Alexei Shoshtakov to maintain status and power within Dreykov's organization. A man who disappeared from her life when it got hard. No matter the current status of she and her 'father's' relationship, Natasha cannot dismiss prior feelings of abandonment and betrayal.

Rebecca's interpretation of her own father, however, is far different...

...Bruce Banner builds robots in the basement. He paints her walls red and adds a spider at her bidding. He brags about her mother to no end. He teaches her about the world with kindness and understanding, with patience and love. Bruce helps her catch bugs and shares her interests. He cares for her, holds her, and hugs her when she is upset. Both of them...

Rebecca knows little of heroism or of her parents alter egos. But what she does know is that the Hulk is her father and that he grows large and green, sometimes in protection of the city at Bruce and Natasha's discretion. Ever since she was little, and with the help of Jennifer Walters, Rebecca has found solace in a soft green hulk plush she brings everywhere since it was gifted by her aunt.

Rebecca finds her father to be a safe space. A protector.

Natasha tilts her head; no matter how hard it's gotten, Bruce never walks away; he never gives up on either of them. When Romanoff finds herself lost in thought, unable to care for Rebecca with a whole heart, Bruce fills that void. He is nothing but emotionally ready when it comes to Rebecca, available and open to her every need. In contrast to the court forming the outline of a cold, selfish, murderous scientist, Natasha only sees her loving spouse and Rebecca's attentive father.

She wipes her nose and shuts her eyes.

Unlike Alexei, Natasha vows to put Rebecca first as she sits at the table and nods to herself;

"I can fix this."

Rebecca looks up at her with tearful eyes.

"I promise. I'll be here for you. Always. No matter what," Natasha reassures, about far more than the plush.

Rebecca presses her cheek against the table, "Mommy?"

"What malyshka."

"Will you play with me tomorrow?"

Natasha sighs over an obvious cry for help. A place for attention. She lifts her tired eyes, afraid to ask herself during the early morning hours, "Go see if Tetya Laura's door is open? Maybe she's awake. We need her sewing box."

She finds herself studying the plush while Rebecca ventures on her quest to locate her 'aunt'. Last Natasha was aware, Laura was in the laundry room, far enough to give her a solid 3 minutes to plan her next move; one that demands she avoid the courtroom for a day. One that requires imagination and likely playing with bugs Rebecca loves so much. Despite any more adult situations in their wake, Natasha is missing precious time with her daughter. Time she dreads will eventually reach its cap...just like the others.

Natasha drops the item in favor of hiding her face in her palms.

Without turning around, she knows exactly who holds her from behind. Even before he speaks she is aware of Clint's arrival and his having wrapped her up in his arms. She silently grips his arm as she swallows her tears and all subsequent emotion.

"I'm okay," she whispers.

"Okay," Clint says, hugging her tighter in no rush to move.