Luke's POV
So I just had MY therapist session, honestly I don't even thing our therapist even knows why I'm in it, I'm pretty 'normal'. At least that's what she said I was.
Talia is the name of our therapist, she's pretty nice and she's maybe about two years older then me. Saying she is pretty was an understatement to be honest. Also saying I was excited for my next appointment with her was also and understatement.
-
I walked around the park with my fingers interlaced with Juliet's. My hand although felt somewhat out of place, I felt out of place.
No, I snapped my mind back into place. I can't talk like that, I love Juliet with all my heart, there's no doubt about that.
So why am I reconsidering my status with her at the moment? Why all the sudden? Everything has been going pretty well lately and she seems happy. She tells me she is.
Maybe I just need some space?
No, she'll take that the wrong way.
Then I felt her hand get out of my grasp, "Luke?"
"Mm?"
"Are you alright? You seem a little..out of it." She pursed her lips together obviously catching on my sudden change of emotion.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just thinking about some stuff, don't worry okay?" I pulled her by her side closer to me, I kissed the top of her head and sighed. She said a small 'okay,' I can tell she wanted to know but I couldn't tell her what I was actually thinking.
That I was doubting my relationship at the moment.
-
Now again, in her room. Her mom was downstairs in the pool, and I didn't want to do anything.
I need to call one of the boys, yeah, that's what I need maybe.
I grabbed my phone, "Where are you going?" Juliet said sitting up.
"I'll be right back," I dialed Michael's number quickly and pressed the phone against my ear as I paced around the hallway. I stepped into the kitchen then, so Juliet couldn't hear me as he answered.
"Hey Luke, how's Jersey?" He answered cheerfully.
"Michael, I need help. Mot advice actually cause I don't know what to do." I breathed in all one exhale.
"Luke, chill out. What happened?"
"Okay, I guess I don't know nothing 'happened' but I guess something is going to happen because Michael I don't know what's wrong with me today. I love Juliet to death, believe me I do-" I was cut off.
"Luke...you didn't...cheat? Did you?"
"No! No I didn't, I couldn't. I just, maybe my relationship with Juliet is just a temporary thing. Maybe we are meant to be friends. I'm not seeing her in the same light as a girlfriend as I used to yesterday Mike. I'm so nervous now and I don't know what to tell her."
"You want to be friends?" I heard a voice from behind me.
"You're fucked," Michael whispered into the phone and I hung up on him. I turned quickly, Juliet was standing there.
"How much did you hear?" I choked out.
"Enough Luke, if you don't want me to be your girlfriend all you had to do was tell me...I'm not an obligation, I'm a choice and I'm asking you to make a choice right now. Do you want to be with me...romantically?" She said stuttering her words as her lip quivered.
"I-I don't know..."
"Alright then, I'll pay for your flight back to Australia tomorrow and I guess you can go home. I'll stay here." She said then turned around.
"Juliet wait!" I ran after her but she locked her door behind her. "Fuck," I hissed and put my fist against the door along with my head. This can't fucking being happening.
"Juliet please open the door..." I said barely above a whisper.
No answer.
I sighed and slid my back down the door. "Baby, please..." I said again.
I could make out Juliet crying from inside and that made my chest physically hurt to know that I am the one making her cry. I should be protecting her from people who make her cry by how can I protect her from myself?
"Juliet?"
"Go away Luke!" She finally faught back.
"I will wait here until you open the door. It's not the first time I had to do this and it probably won't be the last, I will always wait for you. I love you Juliet."
"Luke if you loved me, you wouldn't have been so hesitant when I asked if you wanted to be with me."
And she was right.
As always.
"Please leave me alone..." she said, her voice cracking. When she was begging for me to go away, I thought I'd never here those words come from her lips directed towards me.
"I will never leave," I said and then neither of us spoke after that night.
So here we are, a month later.
I did keep one promise, that I wouldn't leave. Her mom doesn't know we broke up, she just thinks we're going through a rough patch. She seems to have lightened up to me a lot and loves Juliet and I together, yeah well I did too.
But as usual, I had to open my big fucking mouth and fuck it up instead of keeping it to myself.
And now Juliet doesn't trust me, cool.
She's barely spoken to me this past month and we have only a few more weeks here until we go back to Australia. I think it's we, I won't leave without her. I do love her, I'm just not sure if I'm in love with her anymore.
I hate myself because of that.
"Juliet?" I knocked on her door and then opened it. She was on her laptop sitting on her bed. She looked up at me, "What?" She spat. Oh yeah, about that, she's got her backbone back instead. She was difficult to talk to if she even bothered talking to me.
Long story short, she acts like she fucking hates me now.
"Can we talk?" I asked nicely.
"No."
"Okay you know what? I'm trying to so fucking hard to keep a civil relationship between us right now but you are being so stubborn. Stop being a bitch for a minute and listen to me?!" I yelled and stood up.
"Luke I have every right to be as stubborn as I wanted. I gave you fucking everything I could offer to you just to find out after wasting more then a year with you to hear that you like me as a friend. Fuck you Luke, get out of my room." She said looking me dead in the eye.
"Fine, you want to fucking hate me? Then hate me Juliet! Tell me you hate me."
"No, Luke."
"Why not? Where's the little girl I was talking to a minute ago kicking me out of her room because she doesn't want to talk. Tell me you hate me!" I yelled with such anger, she backed down at first with fear.
"I can't! I fucking love you Luke, and I will continued to love you until I'm buried six feet deep. Obviously the feeling isn't mutual. So get out." She yelled but quieter and more stern at the end.
I swallowed and nodded, wow am I a dick.
"I'm sorry...I got carried away okay?" I said.
"Fucking get out Luke!" She repeated herself.
"Fine," I sighed. I left her room and went back to mine.
Only a few more weeks. Then we go home, she'll calm down and things can go back to normal.
Nothing to do but wait it out.
