Hello : Goodbye : Hello

Chapter 4 : Love Begins With One Hello

We came to the rooftop of the hospital. It was nearly midnight, and the night sky was picturesque. Tiny stars littered the black sky, na parang mga chismoso lang na gusto maki-usyoso sa aming dalawa. It was a clear night - the silvery white moon lit our surroundings, and if you look closely you'll see all the imperfections that it has.

I stared at my ever quiet companion, Lean. The soft, ethereal light of the moon was casting a shadow on his face. Nakatingin lang ito sa malayo, walang sinasabi na kahit na ano, pero parang ang lalim lang ng iniisip.

"Nalimutan ko yosi ko, Lean. Mayroon ka ba diyan?

He just smiled and took out a packet of cigarettes from his pocket. Binigyan niya ako ng isang stick then lit up one of his own. Tahimik na hinithithit ni Lean ang hawak niyang yosi, his gaze staring at the lights illuminating the streets below.

"Tin" sabi nito bigla sa akin habang patuloy na pinagmamasdan ang mga tao at sasakyan sa daan. Isinara nito ang kaniyang mga mata ng ilang minuto, tapos nagpatuloy sa pagsasalita.

"Did I hurt anyone earlier?"

May halong pait at pagsisisi ang mga salitang kaniyang sinambit nang mga oras na iyon. It's like he's blaming himself for losing it earlier that day. And the look on his face was the look of a man asking for forgiveness.

"Wala naman, Lean" pagsisinungaling ko. I mean, alam ko na ang sitwasyon niya. Ayaw ko pa makadagdag sa depresyon ng kausap ko.

"Just tell me the truth, Tin. Please level with me. May nasaktan ba ako kanina?"

Shit. Those eyes again. He has the most expressive eyes I've ever seen on any human being. It's like he can't be a good liar, for his eyes will betray him. And that pleading look he gave me can destroy any defences put up by even the strongest armies in the world.

"Wala nga. They were just surprised by what you did earlier. Nothing more, nothing less." I just smiled and looked away from his gaze. Ayaw ko makita niya na all I was saying was white lies.

Tumingala na lang sa langit si Lean bilang sagot sa sinabi kong iyon. Pikit-mata, tikom-bibig. Alam kong hindi siya nainiwala sa sinabi kong iyon. I just want to put his mind at ease. Kahit hindi niya sabihin, damang-dama ko iyon.

"Don't think about that too much, Lean" sabi ko lang sa kanya. He lowered his head, gave out a deep sigh, then smiled at me. Nginitian ko din siya, tapos tinamasa ang usok ng bigay niyang sigarilyo.

"I think you heard about what happened earlier, Tin. Me meeting my girlfriend, and me completely losing it."

"I've heard about bits of it here and there. Pero not about meeting your girlfriend" sabi ko na lang sa kanya. Totoo naman kasi ang sinasabi kong iyon. I know he met a lady earlier today. But nobody said na iyung babaeng iyon, girlfriend niya.

"I see" he said, then took another stick of his cigarette. We stayed like that for a few minutes, looking at the city lights of the metro. Isang malakas na buntung-hininga ng binitawan ng kasama ko, then he cleared his throat.

"Alam mo, tinatawanan ko ang dati ang mga taong gumagawa nito. Iyung mga taong nagpapatiwakal dahil sa pag-ibig. I called them morons. I called them stupid. Stupid idiots."

He took his cigarette then placed it on his lips, inhaling ang savouring the grey smoke that it emanates. Pinagmamasdan ko lang siya habang nakatingin sa malayo. Parang may hinahanap na sagot sa sari-saring katanungan na bumabalot sa utak niya.

"I thought I knew everything. I was too quick to judge people. Hell, kahit nga si Hugo na kaibigan ko na mula pagkabata, ilang beses ko din iyon sinabihan na babae lang iyan. Why bother yourself with just a girl."