Hello : Goodbye : Hello

Chapter 9 : The Prince of Disguise

The second I close my eyes. memories flood me like a tsunami eating up the shore.

The two and a half days I spent at Lean's place was probably the most serene I've been in years. Para lang siyang pahinga, a welcome respite from all the things that were happening in my life. All the pain I was experiencing was gone in less than 3 days.

Naalala ko pa iyung mga bagay na ginagawa niya sa dalawang araw na iyon. Iyung pagkanta niya sa akin, the odd flower na ibinibigay niya sa akin everyday, pag-gising niya ng maaga to cook something for me, and even the small talks that we shared whilst I was with them.

The small talks. That damned small talks. Mga usapan na walang sense at kuwenta, pero ginagawa niya pa rin just to drive the demons off my mind. I just think that it's beautiful the way he sparkles when he talks about the things he loves. Now, I am convinced na.

I'm falling for that stupid idiot.

I fell for the way he handles those raw conversations. Iyung tipong alam mo na it's something pure, something genuine, walang plastikan. I fell for his carefree, inadvertent attitude. Those things that he does dahil trip mo lang, not trying to impress anyone.

I fell for what is real. I fell for the soul, not the skin carrying it.

I fell with his smiles. And lost my heart with his laughs.

Sabi niya sa akin, it's better to write down every memory na make my heart go all kilig. Every little thing that makes my heart beat faster. That way, I can remember those happy moments I shared with that special someone. Akala ko dati mahirap ang mission niyang iyon sa akin. Di ko naisip na madali lang pala.

I hurriedly opened up the mason jar na binigay niya sa akin, took one of the hearts na nakalagay doon, then wrote my first ever note, my first ever memory, that I shared with someone -

The day he picked me up when I was down. And uplifted my spirits. It made my dying heart beat again.

***

"Mag-usap kayo ni Gabriel, Kiki."

Sabi ko na nga ba e. Magsusumbong si Gab kay Mommy. At siyempre, si Mom kakampihan niya ang kaniyang magiging son in law. Kaya ito ako ngayon, pinagagalitan ng mismong nanay ko.

Alam na naman niya siguro ang nangyari, kahit wala akong sabihin sa kanya. Malamang naikuwento na ni Gab ang lahat lahat kay Mom at Dad. Kaya nag tag-team pa silang dalawa sa pagsasabi na patawarin ko na lang daw si Gab, na he's prone to make mistakes, na he's human din daw, na think of the years that we shared. Together.

Together? Talaga lang ah. How can I think of all those years we were together when I saw him doing it together with another person? Not to mention the "minor" mistakes pa na ginagawa niya - mga dates na iniindian ako, mga text messages na sobrang tagal kung mag-reply siya, mga pangga-gaslight niya at kung ano-ano pang mga bagay na nagbibigay sa akin ng doubt. Doubt about many things he does. Doubt about everything he says. Doubt about his feelings towards me.

Iyon ba ang kailangan kong isipin sa sinasabi nilang "together" na iyan?

Pero siyempre, bilang isang responsableng anak, I had no choice but to keep my mouth shut. Ayaw ko masabihang suwail na anak bigla. I just told them to give me time to heal. Sinabi nila they will give me a week to sort things out.

Wow. A week. Parang instant noodles lang ah. Ibabad mo lang sa mainit na tubig, may chibog ka na kaagad. Sana ganoon din iyon sa paghi-heal ng isang sugat. Lagyan mo lang ng tubig na may asin at merthiolate, magaling na kaagad. Pesteng buhay na ito.

I needed a drink tuloy. Ang nakaasar pa, hindi ko man lang nahingi na naman ang phone number ni Lean. Parang ninja din kasi iyon eh. Ang lakas mang-aliw.