Hidden feelings [BTS 8th member]

4.

I didn't have much to bring to my own dorm.

There's not much furniture, and it's smaller than the other dorm. Presumably because it's for one person.

The furniture that Bang-pd bought me is already set up, like he didn't want me to worry about moving it in.

Walking into the dorm you're met with the door to my room on the left, the living room ahead, and the kitchen to the right.

My room is small, my bed is in the center of the room, leaving little to no space for my desk in the bottom left corner.

Knock.

I approach the door silently, and do the same when I'm looking through the peephole.

Jungkook.

God can't he just leave me alone?

There's another person standing to the right of him..

Bang-pd

Great, now I have to open the door.

I open the door halfway and peak my head through the gap. "How are you?" Bang-pd asks while Jungkook awkwardly stands next to him.

I open the door a bit, "I'm doing okay, the moving takes my mind off stuff." I say while gesturing to my head.

I open the door even wider, Bang-pd walks in, I make eye contact with Jungkook. Then I shut the door in his face.

"What happened?" Bang-pd asks while looking around the kitchen, I sigh and look at the ground. "What are you taking about?" I ask, though I know exactly what he's talking about. "Haeseong I'm not dumb." Bang-pd says with a hint of sass.

"It's not important. If I talk about it then all I'm going to do is think about it." I pause and take a deep breath in, "And that will be a big distraction."

"Haeseong." Bang-pd says so seriously it reminds me of my Dad and how he used to make me tell him what made me upset.

"We just had a fight."

"If it was just a fight then why were you so upset the other day?" Bang-pd looks at me with worried eyes. I turn away from his glance.

I feel my eyes tear up.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." I whisper.

"Jungkook told me you didn't sleep in the dorm after the fight."

Stop talking

"He told me that he feels bad about something, that he did something bad to you."

Please

"Taehyung told me you don't like anyone either."

Shut up.

"Do you really want to know what happened?" I yell, "No one likes me." I pause as a tear rolls down my face. "None of them like me, all of them treat me like shit." I look down. "They all treat me like I'm less than them." 

Bang-pd looks at me with wide eyes. "I just don't want to be treated badly again." I wipe the fallen tears from my face and regain composure.

"It makes me feel.." I trail off as another tear slips down my cheek, I wipe it quickly. "Like I'm not worthy to be an idol."

Before Bang-pd can react another knock hits the door. I check the peephole.

Jungkook, again.

"I should go." Bang-pd says while walking to the door and opening it, leaving as soon as he can. As I look in between the space Bang-pd left out of I realize it's only Jungkook and I.