Daddy Didn't Love Me // Lawlorff

Twelve

After a delightful meal of home-cooked Bagel Bites, Kian and I head off to the party. I'm nervous to meet his friends, I never have really fit in anywhere. 

"Ready?" Kian sighed, pulling his car up to the sidewalk of a frat house. The music boomed out of the windows and flourescent lights peered from the cracks and blinded me. I felt as if I was on the risk of a panic attack. Kian held my hand. 

"Hey, hey... you okay?" he asked, moving his head around to see me closely. I bit my lip and shook my head.  "I don't know... this isn't really my scene." 

He quickly pecked me on the lips and smiled. "You're with me. Mi casa es su casa."

"But this isn't a house, Kian. This is a party. This is your life." 

"Fine. Mi vida es su vida." He kissed me again lightly and then opened his car door. 

"Come on, Sammy. We're going in, just to say hi, and we can leave after that if you want. We can go home and binge watch Orange is The New Black on Netflix and eat Cookie Dough ice cream until our sides hurt. Anything to make you feel more at home here." 

I smiled and stepped out. 

He came over and held my hand. 

"Kian!" several people shouted when we entered the house. He waved back and kept one hand around my hip. 

"Where've you been!" shouted a boy with curly brown hair and blonde strands in front. He had slightly chubby cheeks and a huge smile. 

"Been working at the motel, as always. I've been taking online classes instead." Kian explained. 

"And who's this?" the boy pointed at me. 

"Jc, allow me to introduce you to my new boyfriend, Sam." 

I looked up at him in awe. I didn't know he'd show me off like that. 

He looked back down at me and smiled, exposing almost-dimples. 

"Wow. I uh- I didn't know you were-" Jc said. 

Kian rolls his eyes. "I don't do labels. You know that."

"Well I just figured after Andrea died, you wouldn't really-" He stopped speaking immediately. "Sorry." 

Kian shrugged. "It was like a year ago. I'm okay." 

"Alright, see ya round." Jc added and then went to fill up his drink again. 

"What was that all about?" I asked. 

Kian sighed. "My ex, she uh- she died in a car crash about a year ago. She was drunk and she drove right off the cliff. I don't usually talk about it, but you deserve some sort of explanation."

"I'm so sorry..." I said in consolation. 

"No! Don't be! I'm over it." 

He handed me a cherry-flavored drink in a plastic cup and poured one for his own. 

"What's in this?" I asked. 

"It's a black cherry flavored Vodka. My favorite, honestly." He took a sip. 

"I'm only eighteen," I defended. 

He laughed. "Babe. I'm nineteen. It ain't no thing! Everyone around here thinks I'm like twenty four, for whatever reason. Anyway, it just, keeps my mind off things." 

"Like Andrea?" I said. I regretted saying it immediately. 

He winced. "Yes. Like Andrea. And I'm quite dumb for thinking that drinking excessive amounts of alcohol will fix my ex girlfriend flying off a cliff because of drinking.  But it's over and I'm okay. I swear." 

He wasn't okay. I couldn't expect him to be okay, but I decided to let it be. I placed my cup down. "Well you get hopelessly drunk if you wish. I'm driving home." 

He smiled. 

"C'mon. I'm going to introduce you to more people."