Daddy Didn't Love Me // Lawlorff

Seventeen

The motel became more of a second home to me, first now being Kian's apartment, over the next couple months. 

I sat on an armchair sprawled out every day Kian had to work, and he came to visit me at work on the days he had off to toss a few spree balls or ride a couple rollercoasters. I quite enjoyed everything that went on between us in that matter of time. It was borderline uneventful, which is why I think I loved it so much. Kian was great company, cuddling up to me every night and making out with me in the back of the dark movie theater during the day. It got down to the point where I was seriously debating whether or not I'd fallen in love yet, even though deep down I knew I had long ago. 

One particular day, after we were practically rolling in money (and by rolling in money, I mean that we could afford more than ramen noodles for dinner), he took me out on a date, a real date. I don't mean to the movies, because we did that very often anyway. He didn't take me to the beach, even though that's how we spent our weekends off, camping out in the open sand and waking up to the sound of seagulls and waves crashing against the shore. He took me to a restaurant. A fancy motherfucking restaurant, and I was beyond terrified. 

"I'm going to take you on a date tonight," he had demanded. 

I was currently flipping through a travel magazine, plopped over our bed in our apartment, and Kian hopped on to the mattress, causing my glass of water almost to topple over and spill. I caught it and set it on the ground carefully and he wrapped an arm around my side, pulling me up onto his lap and kissing my forehead. 

"Where?" 

He smiled. "Well I'll have you know that tomorrow just so happens to be our six month fucking anniversary so, obviously, I'm going to have to step it up a notch. And by a notch, a mean a huge ass notch, implying you're going to have to dress up quite a bit." 

I raised my eyebrows. "Oh really?" 

He nodded. "Yes. I'm not going to tell you where, because that's what a surprise is, and I don't wanna ruin the surprise here." 

Neither of us had work that day. We had the rest of the day to ourselves, to do whatever we pleased. These days were my favorite, because we were such a laid back couple that all we had to do to make ourselves content was to watch Netflix and cuddle up in his warmest blanket. 

I called up my coworker Trevor and told him about Kian's plans for the evening. He's quite the gossipy little fucker, but he sure as hell's got a good fashion sense, so obviously, I required his services more than ever now. I didn't own that many clothes at all, let alone good ones. Kian had a suit, he wore to his grandmother's funeral. I often shared clothes with Kian, but this one I'd have to go out on my own with. I needed to go shopping, now. 

"Ki!" I shouted while he was in the shower, singing along to a Miley Cyrus song, and I stood by the door. I heard the handle squeak and the water stop. 

"Yeah baby?" he shouted.

"I'm going out to go shopping. I'll be back in an hour!" 

"Okay!" 

I left and Trevor pulled up his car to the block. "Hay gurly!" 

I rolled my eyes at him and got in the passenger seat. 

"Okay, I am gonna take you to H&M, because honey, Kian's old gym shirt from high school...?" 

I looked down. Indeed, that was what I adorned myself in. We were very behind on laundry, and this is pretty much all we had left.

I ended up spending a hundred and fifty dollars. 150. 

Yeah. 

The measures I will go through to impress my boy. 

Of course, Trevor did try and convince me to buy all of those items. I now owned a suit and tie, several bow ties, more than one pair of socks, some dress shoes and several button down tops. I concluded it a worthy day full of shopping, regardless of the cost. 

I came home to see my pride and joy, looking like a starfish all sprawled across our bed. 

I laughed. "Honey, I'm home!" I sarcastically said, nudging at his feet. 

He groaned. "Fuck you Sammers. I'm sleeping." 

I tossed the bag to the side and hugged on to him. 

"It's three p.m... have you eaten yet?" 

He doesn't respond. I shake him slightly. 

"Kian?" 

Nothing. 

I flip him over, he's completely passed out. I shake him more, still nothing. He's shirtless and his ribs are practically breaking out of his chest. I fight back tears, looking anywhere for a pulse. 

I grabbed onto his neck with one hand, trying to get a heartbeat out of it with the other hand. I felt nothing, so I laid my head on his chest to hear something, and nothing returned. 

Well, fuck.