For The Hope Of It All

Kiyara

Ilyes Almàsy was my hero. A sleek black Escalade had appeared in front of me, a few blocks houses down from Santi's house merely 10 minutes after I had sent the text. While usually I'd be dreading the long drive back, I needed this time to myself. I'm not sure why Santi's rejection had wounded me so badly. To the point that I had muted our text thread and even removed notifications. But then I found myself turning it back on and unmuting our conversation because this was Santi. He was my friend and I knew he wasn't doing it out of malice. He was free to not want to have sex in his childhood bedroom while his parents hosted a party downstairs. He was free to do that even if we hadn't seen each in a month. And I was free to feel hopelessly unwanted by him despite it all. I had fallen asleep 30 minutes into the car ride and only woke when it came to halt in front of Ilyes' condo. I squeeze my eyes shut to adjust to the sudden bright light of the lobby when the door man pulls open my door.

"Good evening Miss"

I didn't have time to complain or tell the driver to take me home because the doorman walks away, motioning for me to follow him. So I do. Through the lobby and away from the communal elevators, down a marbled hallway to a private lift. I didn't question anything as he scans a passkey, only waiting patiently as it brings me up to the 17th floor. When the doors open up, I could see Ilyes sitting on the sofa in a black wife pleaser and white linen pants, scrolling through his phone. I had to admit, he dressed quite well for an athlete. Most athletes wore skinny jeans or Adidas but not him. His eyes flicker over to me suddenly and within moments, he's tucked his phone into his pocket and strides towards me.

"Why did you make your driver take me here?" I raise my eyebrow at him, crossing my arms over my chest. His face doesn't sport that usual intoxicating smile of his. Instead, his eyebrows furrow together.

"I wanted to make sure you're okay"

The sincerity strikes me in the chest. This isn't want I want from him. I want the bickering, the back and forth and his annoying neediness. I didn't want him to care. I only reserve that for Santi.

"Aren't you supposed to be at Sinclair's mom's house?"

"I've been there since 9AM, grilling the kefta. They'll live without me" He shrugs, taking the time to sweep his eyes over every inch of my body.

"I'm fine, see" I say, stretching my arms out. He only shakes his head in disapproval.

"You didn't answer any of my texts. I only got a text from the driver 5 minutes ago that you were alive."

"I fell asleep" I swallow thickly, trying to ignore the way his eyes mimicked that of a wounded puppy. "And besides, why would anything be wrong? I just wanted to go home and Anya wanted to stay"

Ilyes smiles finally, showing off the dimple on his chin. "I don't believe you would leave your precious Santiago Margolis before you had to"

"What do you have against him anyway?" I roll my eyes to mask the ache that claims my chest at the mention of his name. In return, Ilyes frowns harder.

"Other than the fact he is literally non-existent on the internet besides a singular paragraph on the Delano College website and a stupid LinkedIn profile which I couldn't even access without a premium membership? I don't like sharing"

The honesty of his admission actually makes me laugh. I can barely imagine him scouring the internet for proof that Santi existed, even going to the lengths of searching a corporate social media site. Ilyes' eyes soften at this, taking the opportunity to inch closer.

"Did you pay for the premium membership?" I ask, flatly but it doesn't deter him. He takes it only as a challenge as he runs his calloused fingers along my forearm down to my wrist, taking my finger between his and squeezing gently.