Losing It All // Alex Bowman

Epilogue // Alex

One Year Later

A lot of things can change in a blink of an eye. It's something that we take for granted, thinking that at this moment, everything will stay the same. We never expect anything bad to happen to us. How we're just living our lives with the expectation that everything will be perfect.

Then the storm comes.

Something as simple as a wet surface changed my life to the point I don't recognize it anymore. In the beginning, it changed for the worse. I lost everything. I lost my dream job, sponsors, contracts, and my own dirt team. I lost friends and colleagues. I lost... I lost Gwen. I lost the one person in my life who fucking mattered, all because I was chasing a high that I did not need but thought I did.

I thought I was invincible. I thought nothing bad would ever happen to me. I knew the risks I was taking strapping into a racecar every weekend. I've been in wrecks, some pretty bad ones where I've easily climbed out of my car with only a sore back that would last a few hours. I was blind to what could happen, how one day a simple wreck could happen to where I wouldn't walk away from it.

That day happened.

I wasn't as invincible as I thought.

I lost everything, but yet... I wouldn't have it any other way.

I needed to lose everything in order to be where I'm at today. I wouldn't be here. I needed to take that dark and lonely road to become the person I am today. Otherwise I would be someone I would have grown to hate. Someone who used any means possible to reach the top, no matter who I hurt in the process.

I never wanted to be that man and I'm so fucking thankful for that wreck that changed my life.

Because now... now I have everything.

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you." Gwen's sweet voice floated through the quietness of the night. I looked up from the confetti covered ground, still in awe that I'm able to stand in victory lane again. The checkered flag laid on top of my car, the same car I drove before but with a new number. 

Receiving a text from Jimmie Johnson on one of the lowest days of my recovery period gave me the courage to push a little harder. To walk faster, to train harder, to be the man that I deserved to be.

To be the father that I deserved to be.

Everything changed after that text saying the 48 ride was mine if I wanted it. But nothing compared to the moment Gwen walked out of the bathroom, holding a little white stick with tears streaming down her face saying she was pregnant.

"I'm just taking it all in." I finally replied to her, reaching out to intertwine our fingers together before placing a soft kiss to her lips.

"Babe, you've won last week, too. And about a few other races this season as well." She giggles slightly, like I'm crazy for sitting out here way past the end of the race. Past the fans leaving, the haulers and crew members are almost gone, too.

"I never know when it might be my last." Gwen reached up, placing a palm on my cheek, the cold touch of her engagement ring was just another reminder of everything good in my life right now.

"I love you so much," she breathed against my lips, reaching up on her tippy toes and angling her full belly to the side so she could kiss me.

It was moments like this that reminded me that everything could change in a blink of an eye and I will never, never take life for granted.

I had to lose everything to get to this moment and I'm so fucking glad that I did.

~ THE END ~

A/N: I DID IT! I finished this story! I've been trying for months to find the words to wrap this up. I know I stepped away from writing, but I promised that I would finish this story and I'm extremely happy with how I did it.

Thank you for sticking by my side when I thought *I* lost everything, when in reality I just gained access to my old self again and found friends who truly love me. I'm slowly coming out of my darkness. Just one step at a time.

I've already put writing about pretty boys driving in circles on a shelf, but maybe, just maybe I'll pick it up again. No promises, but I am determined to write again, no matter what fandom it's for.

If you're actually reading this, just know I love you so much & I appreciate you sticking by myside. <3

Oh! If anyone wants a epub or pdf of this story, please message me! I can upload it to AO3 so you can have access of it offline.