Losing It All // Alex Bowman

Chapter Four // Gwen

My heart was in my throat when Alex left my office, letting the door close softly. I swirled in a circle, biting my lower lip and blushing like crazy at what just transpired.

I should know better than to get lost in my own writings, but I never expected Alex to swoop in to read it.  I also never expected him to get on his knees before me and kiss me in the one place that I've never been kissed before, either.

I felt so embarrassed when I confessed to him that I've never had a guy go down on me, but it's the truth. All of my sexual encounters included messy blow jobs that ended in vanilla sex that barely had my toes curling. When it wasn't that, it was tongues being shoved down my throat and fingers trying to get me off, but failing. 

Every guy was a dud and they never cared about my pleasure and because of that, I hadn't had a real relationship in forever.

Then enter Alex - the man was a whirlwind around me - I never knew what direction he was going in until he was taking me by surprise. He never once thought twice about getting me off and that had me free falling.

Was it possible that I got lucky with him?

But then again, this was the result of something he read on my computer screen. For once, I wish he would took it upon himself to start something, without the initiative of my words.

Sadness washed over me as I looked over to my laptop, the cursor blinking, waiting for more words to spill out onto the screen. I saved my story, suddenly losing the desire to write even though I had plenty of inspiration to write about.

The high I was on a minute ago was nowhere to be seen. I left my office, making my way to the conference room a little early, deciding to eat my lunch there as I waited for the whole 88 team for our afternoon meetings.

I was lost in thought, not even noticing the room was filling up when a message on our in-house messenger popped up on my screen.

Alex Bowman: Are you okay?

I looked around the room, looking for those gray-blue eyes but they were in serious thought, looking at his tablet... most likely waiting for my reply.

Gwen Knight: I'm fine.

I knew he would see through my lie so I went with the half truth.

Gwen Knight: I just have a lot on my mind.

Alex Bowman: I hope you're thinking about our meeting earlier. I think you should clear my schedule for this afternoon for another one.

Alex sent me a winky face emoji and it took all I had to not roll my eyes.

Gwen Knight: You're something else, Alexander.

Alex Bowman: I love it when you call me that... I need to hear you moan while saying that.

Gwen Knight: Alex! IT can easily read our convos!

Alex Bowman: Just like they can read your filthy smut about us?

Gwen Knight: ...

Alex Bowman: Can I read? Your other stuff?

Gwen Knight: I don't think that's a good idea...

Alex Bowman: Please? I just want to see what's in your head.

Gwen Knight: My head is a chaotic mess, Alex. You'll probably get repulsive by the fact that I wrote about us fucking and falling in love. Plus, I can't help but think this is the only reason why you want to be with me.