Hidden and Silent (SpyxFamily)

Ch. 13: Part Six

       As time ticked closer to the start of class, Damian dug out a textbook from his bag in preparation and found a fresh page in his spiral notebook. He folded the two covers neatly back to back and placed it next to his textbook and pencil. He stared at it.

His face flushed hot.

Damian covered it.

He'd hugged her!

He'd hugged her, he'd hugged her, he'd hugged her! What was he thinking!? It had worked, it had seemed to help, but what was he thinking?! It was so awkward AND HE'D HUGGED HER! Wasn't that a little weird?! Why would he hug her?! What a stupid thing to do! No, but it helped. She'd needed it—But no! Why did he do that?!

But he knew why and he would've done it again. Being scared and alone was the worst and Damian didn't want Forger to feel the way he had. When he'd had that nightmare and his mother wasn't around to make it better.

He groaned and gripped his hair, plunking his head on his desk. He couldn't believe he did that!

"Boss?" Ewen said. Damian ignored him.

No! They're friends! Damian amended. He was trying to make her feel better! That's normal isn't it?! He really was only trying to help her calm down! It was instinctive and he just. . .did it! They're friends and she. . .needed him. . .

"Ugggghhhh." Damian groaned into his textbook. It was just a hug! She was freaking out and it helped! So there!

Damian sighed wearily and picked his head off his book. Leaning on his desk, he held his face in his hands.

Everything was a mess.

Was Forger going to be like this forever? Ignoring him? Avoiding him? Was any part of their friendship even salvageable at this point? Forger had never felt so unreachable, like she'd set sail to live on some uncharted island and Damian didn't know the way there.

Damian let his right hand fall to grab his pencil, feeling rather defeated, and continued to gnaw on his opposite thumbnail. The orange stick of led twirled distractedly between his fingers.

"Tch." His face scrunched and teeth clenched on his nail in annoyance. He didn't like this. Things were even worse than before and he didn't know what to do. Forger wouldn't give him a chance to speak with her and trying to have that conversation alone would be near impossible with Blackbell and Damian's friends around.

His face relaxed and his posture sagged with a disheartened sigh. Was there a point in trying anymore? Damian was out of his depth. Nothing seemed to work. Even Demetrius had spoken to her and Forger was about the same. Sorta. She'd been really spaced out lately.

What could Damian do? He knew Forger's secret and it felt less like he was included in the loop, and more like he'd closed a door on himself. Like knowing was the final straw and he was officially and forever banned from reentering her world with no possibility to sneak back in. Forger didn't want him to. She seemed to want nothing more to do with him. The connection Damian had gained from their shared experience at the lab wasn't enough it seemed to make Forger trust him. Or feel comfortable around him.

. . .

. . .

. . .Or no. . .that wasn't right. . .Damian reevaluated and the depressing weight in his chest lightened a little.

Damian had hugged her. And it had worked. She had calmed down. That had to mean something right? That she found him at least a little comforting?

Damian sincerely hoped so. What was left to salvage without it?

"Um. . .do you need an exorcist or something?" Emile drew Damian's attention back to the present.

". . .What?" He asked, but it was quickly forgotten when a pink head came through the door only moments before class would start and the pencil stilled in Damian's hand. He wouldn't have been surprised if she was missing for the rest of the day and he chewed harder on his nail. His pencil twirled again twice as fast. Was she okay? Was she angry? Did she hate him? Forger appeared calmer now, though her gaze flicked warily to him several times on the way to her seat as if he was the telepath.

Damian had to find a way to talk to her. Leaving things the way they were made him antsy and anxious. He wondered if she was reading his mind right now. How much was she hearing? Did she know he wanted to talk? Damian questioned if he could think at her, but that wasn't a proper conversation, they needed to speak face to face. Would she let that happen? How bad was the situation? It was bad, but how bad. Really bad? Really, really bad?

. . .

Was she reading his mind now?

Damian had to stop asking himself that. He was going to drive himself crazy.

What did he do?! He was so out of his depth. Maybe Demetrius would know. But Damian would have to wait 'til after school to talk to him and he couldn't wait that long. The longer this went on, the more uneasy he became.

Damian distractedly listened to the teacher when he came in and started class. He caught Forger stopping herself from looking back at him several times and he had to wonder once more if she was reading his mind. Was it on all the time? Did she pick and choose who she listened to? Damian wished he knew so he could stop obsessing over it.

He needed to talk to her.