Hidden and Silent (SpyxFamily)

Ch. 18: Part Five

 "Yes! I do!"

Demetrius's gaze grew hard and Damian swallowed. He rarely felt Demetrius' displeasure and it had always unsettled him.

But his brother relented with an irritated sigh. "Can you give us a moment?" He asked the Forgers.

"Of course. C'mon Anya." Mrs. Forger took her daughter's hand and the dog followed the family that retreated to the bedroom, giving the boys some privacy.

That was not a good sign.

Demetrius sank deep into the armchair, folded his arms, and focused resolutely on his feet that rested on the table. "He has the scientists." He finally revealed and Damian took a second to process that.

"The. . .people from the lab?"

Demetrius nodded.

". . .So?" Damian prodded and Demetrius looked to him. "What does that have to do with. . ." Damian paused, his mouth catching up with his brain. ". . .anything. . ." He trailed off, realization seeping in like snow slowly soaking him through on a cold, winter day. Chilling every part of him and making him wish for nothing more than to change into something warm. Pretend it had never happened. Pretend he'd never heard that.

"He was. . .going to use me. . ." Damian stated in a small, disturbed voice.

"Yeah." Demetrius confirmed shortly.

"Because. . .you weren't listening. . ."

"Yeah."

Damian stared at him, a heavy pit sinking in his stomach and turning it over. "Is—is that why you—-"

Damian couldn't finish and, though Demetrius must have heard his thoughts, he didn't respond.

This was why Demetrius didn't want to tell him.

His older brother picked more lint off his leg.

". . .Oh. . ." Damian breathed, wrapping his arms over his ribs and staring at the floor.

He was going to be sick. This was worse than he thought. His father had used him against Demetrius. Damian was the reason his brother hadn't run away. The reason he'd listened to their father. All this time, he had been using both of them and Damian had had no idea.

What was worse, was that he was relieved Demetrius hadn't run. That he'd stayed so Damian would be safe. He detested how thankful he was for that when he should be wishing that Demetrius had taken care of himself instead.

What would've happened to Damian if Demetrius hadn't stayed? Would Damian have been sent to the lab, too? Would he have even survived?

It wasn't just now. It wasn't just when Damian was kidnapped. Demetrius had always cared about Damian and had never told him. Instead of having a normal relationship, Demetrius had chosen to protect him in the way he knew how—shutting Damian out and doing what their father wanted.

"Hey." Demetrius said and Damian looked up at him. If Damian hadn't become used to deciphering his brother's facial expressions, he would've thought there was nothing different, but his face was gentler than Damian had ever seen it. A softness in his eyes that was edged with something somber. "It's fine." Demetrius insisted quietly, locking Damian's gaze onto his own, conveying just how strongly he believed it. "It was my choice. Understand? Don't worry about it."

Damian swallowed down the nausea, wondering if it was really that simple. How could he not worry about it? Demetrius had let their father have control over his life just to protect Damian, and it weighed on him that his brother had gone to such lengths.

Damian was grateful. He was beyond relieved. But he didn't like this feeling that he was the reason for Demetrius' decision. If it weren't for him, if Demetrius just didn't care about him, Demetrius could have left. Fled the country. Taken a new identity.

If Demetrius didn't care about him. . .

Somehow that was worse than anything else and Damian was filled with guilt all over again.

"Damian." Demetrius sighed exasperatedly with a head flop to the side. "This is why I didn't want to tell you." He said and Damian's skin crawled that Demetrius had heard him. Of course he had. "Stop overthinking it. It was my decision, got it? My life. You don't get a vote."

Damian blinked, taken aback at the sudden change in Demetrius' attitude. His tone. "Wh—"

"That's all there is to it." Demetrius stated definitively and abruptly got up, making a beeline towards the bathroom with suspiciously long, quick strides. "Accept it and move on."

He closed the door with a soft thud, inherently ending the discussion.

Damian watched after him for a moment, suddenly alone and bewildered. Demetrius, under no uncertain terms, just declared that Damian wasn't allowed to have an opinion on the matter and the youngest Desmond didn't know what to do with that.

He looked around as if the absent people could explain what had just happened and took a needed, deep breath.

His family was exhausting.

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Authors Note: I'll be honest, I completely forgot Bond existed when I wrote this chapter and he was added later as an afterthought. Also, don't be mad at Loid for his driving, that was fully for my own entertainment.