Hidden and Silent (SpyxFamily)

Ch. 14: Part Five

       He had nothing else to say. He didn't know how to make her feel better, he didn't know how to make her trust him. He was so ill-equipped to deal with this, considering how much had happened, how much had happened to Forger that he didn't know about, and he didn't know his heart could hurt so much. He had failed so spectacularly to fix this, and he had nothing left. If Forger really wanted him to stay away. . .what did he do? She was the glue that had held him together at the lab, she had tried to save his life at the zoo, for crying out loud. Losing her would be like losing a piece of. . .well of himself. As stupid as that sounded, as awkward as he could be around her, being by her side felt like the most natural thing in the world.

"I know." She whispered.

"What?" Damian started and turned to her, at first horrified that she had heard his thoughts and was responding to them. His heart skipped several beats and he held his breath. She had dissolved into her knees and was having a staring contest with the floor.

"Y-you—" Damian had to ask it. He had to, he had to, he didn't want to know. But maybe— "You trust me?" He said quietly.

With a tuck of her head, Forger's face was buried in her knees and she nodded ever so subtly.

Damian took a deep breath. "You. . .don't hate me or something?"

There was a small shake and he inhaled, his gut untwisting, and his lungs re-inflated.

"R-really?" He said softly.

Another nod.

"Th-then why. . ." His chest shook ever so slightly. Damian was so confused. His head swam with shuddering relief and his mind swirled, impossibly lost. His body relaxed as if it hadn't ever been able to do that before, and his nerves tensed up again, keeping his emotions from spilling out of him. His brow furrowed in utter bafflement.

And tensed all over again when Forger gasped. The sound was terrifyingly familiar and Damian straightened away from the wall.

"It's—" She heaved. "It's scary—." Forger gasped breathlessly as her shoulders trembled. "You were—" Another gasp and Damian's arms unfolded in frozen alarm.

"You were—you were— never suppo—supposed to know." The words were a wisp on her tongue like someone had snatched them and left only a ghost of it behind. She hiccupped wetly and Damian knew she was crying.

What did he do?! What did he do?! What did he say?!

"Uh—" He said helpfully. "That's—"

Crap! This was not how it was meant to go!

"You—" She hiccupped. "You can't k—know. It's—It's w—wrong." She heaved a long breath and Damian stilled.

Demetrius hadn't mentioned that.

". . What?. . .Who told you that?" He whispered unsteadily.

She didn't answer. She was focused on breathing, holding her breath between heaving as she tried to slow it down.

"Was it. . ." Damian didn't want to say it. The word felt incredibly repulsive to even think it. He flicked his gaze to the rest of the gym, but no one was paying attention. The sound of screaming prisoners egging on their teammates covered Forger's heaving well and they were all too focused on winning to pay them a second look.

"Was it. . ." He tried again. "The. . .director?"

Damian didn't miss the twitch in her hands before they moved from her ankles to hug her knees and he scowled.