Hidden and Silent (SpyxFamily)

Chapter Sixteen

       Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea. Bad idea! Bad idea! Bad idea! BAD IDEA!

Anya stepped off the bus, heart in her throat with clenched fingers reluctant to let go of the rail on the bus, one foot still planted on the last step as if it was really a possibility that she could reembark.

As they usually did, as they would always do, Damian, Becky, Ewen, and Emile waited for her.

Anya should have had her papa drive her early. Who cared if he had to work? He could have driven her. Her mama had easily kept pace with the bus and was around here somewhere, but feeling safe wasn't the issue. Damian was here. She knew he would be. But she hadn't realized just how strongly she would regret making that promise to him yesterday and she so quickly considered forgetting it.

"Um. . .Anya? Are you getting off?" Becky raised a quizzical brow and Anya's uneasy eyes flicked to her without moving her head.

Slowly. Reluctantly. Her fingers slid from the rail and her foot left the last step. Her gaze darted to Damian again. His face was calm. His thoughts were weirdly quiet.

Bad. Idea.

What was wrong with her?! Why would she promise such a thing? He knew. He knew, he knew he knew. He knew! He knew! She would never get used to this. Her feet told her to run. Her brain told her to stay. Her heart told her she wanted to.

Her feet told her to run.

She regretted it. She didn't. She did, she didn't, she did!

As Becky hooked Anya's arm around her's, she tried to block it out. Tried not to think about it. She shouldn't have asked to be friends. That was the wrong decision. It was the right decision.

You belong here.

It was the right decision.

No! Why did she do that! She shouldn't have told him anything! Anya resisted the urge to pull her hair out.

No, she was glad she did it. She wouldn't have Damian's words telling the rest of her brain to shut up and trying to saw the knots loose in her stomach. They wouldn't be friends and this was such a bad idea! Where did they even stand?! They hadn't even talked about how her telepathy effected their friendship, how Damian felt about it, but they were friends! If they were friends, didn't that mean it didn't bother him?! But it did bother him! The idea that she was reading his mind made him so uncomfortable and vulnerable and he didn't like it. But he hadn't told her that. He hadn't even thought it at her! Not to mention the other reasons she had avoided him like the plague and she furiously told herself that everything was fine. It was fine, it was fine, it was fine.

Everything was not fine!

What if she was wrong?! What if they all got hurt, what if her father was right and she shouldn't be here, and EVERYONE DIED?!

It's not your fault. You belong here.

Anya heaved a deep breath, frowning anxiously. Becky gave her a curious look.

Anya wanted to go home.

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Something was different.

Anya was antsy in a calm sort of way. The tendency to forget that class was happening, was less of a complete blank, and more of a nervous, spacey, hyper focus on her thoughts that Becky couldn't see, but she saw how jittery her leg was. She saw how she bit her lip and how her pen wobbled up and down in the the air as she leaned heavily on her desk, a hand propping her face up. She saw the anxious knit in her brows and her notebook that remained empty. Becky didn't know if this was better or worse.

This was his fault somehow.

Becky's narrowed eyes spun behind her to the boy in the back.

What had happened yesterday?

Becky wasn't blind. She had seen it. Of course, she had been watching Anya lately and, of course, she had seen them talking during capture the flag. And while she initially thought Desmond added Anya to his team because he liked her, she quickly realized that wasn't the case.

Something was going on. Anya had been so weird lately. Tired and stressed. Distant and cold.

And Desmond knew why. And it was something serious.

Becky wasn't blind. Despite her ideas of a romance between Anya and Damian, she had noticed. She saw how differently Anya acted since they went missing at the zoo. She saw the pensive, distressed looks Damian sent her when he thought no one was looking or how he chewed nervously on his pencils. And she had definitely noticed the lengths Anya had gone to avoid him.

Especially the last couple days.

And she had noticed when Anya went missing from lunch. After her plate flipped over when she saw him.

Somehow.

This was his fault.

After eyeing him suspiciously for a full minute, Damian sensed her attention on him and his gaze flicked up from his notes. They darted around confused like a yo-yo. Glancing here and there, but always returning to Becky. She was making him uncomfortable, but his head never left his palm and he returned to his writing, darting back up once or twice, clearly wondering what was wrong with her.

Yes. Somehow this was his fault.

Becky turned back around.

But why wouldn't Anya say anything?

Something was definitely different, because when class ended, Anya didn't run. She didn't disappear until the next class, and she didn't avoid Damian. She gave him weird side-glances and clung tight to Becky's arm as if that very act was keeping her from abandoning them.

So. . .did they work something out or not?!

What were they talking about yesterday?! Why did they leave the gym?! When Becky asked the professor, he said she went to the nurse's office, but that couldn't be true. Surely. If Anya needed to go to the nurse's office, she would ask Becky!

Were they secretly dating after all?! Did they sneak off so they could be all romantic or whatever?!

No, no. Becky shook her head and nearly snorted.

Anya was not so advanced when it came to love. She still had a ways to go yet.

Pfft. And Damian. That kid was terrible at expressing his love for her.

So what was it?

Becky couldn't ask it out loud. It was obviously a touchy subject and though it broke her heart that Anya couldn't tell her, Becky could wait until she did. Or rather, she didn't know what else to do but wait.

Besides. Damian might know what was going on, but Becky was Anya's best friend. She was sure there was a good reason for Anya's silence and Becky would wait.

Either that, or she'd figure it out for herself.