Hidden and Silent (SpyxFamily)

Ch. 3: Part Four

What was wrong with Forger?

Damian thought for the fifth time that morning as he peered down at her from his seat.

All of his attempts to speak with her were shot down before he could get close to her. She avoided him like the plague and it rankled him to no end.

What the heck was wrong with her! Why was she always avoiding him?! Especially after what happened a few days ago?! He thought incredulously. How could she ignore him like this?! It was ridiculous! Was it because he found out she was adopted? Why would she care? '. . .I mean. . .it was weird her family pretended she wasn't, but it isn't that big an issue is it?. . .

. . .Or maybe it is, considering who her biological father was. . .maybe that's why she looks so uncomfortable around me.' It depressed Desmond just thinking about growing up in that kind of environment with him. Scared him.

And then there was Blackbell. If Damian was surprised Forger was avoiding him, he was shocked at how she'd been acting around Blackbell. Forger still sat with her, walked with her, but even Damian saw how closed off she'd become with her friend. She sat a little farther, responded very little, and often spaced out on what she was doing. She was doing it now, pencil in her hand, frozen on the paper. Damian wondered what she was thinking about.

What was wrong with her? He thought again. Did Damian do something? Was this really about earlier? She wasn't the weird, insane person he knew her as, she wasn't the same. . .Forger. It was like she was in a perpetual state of anxiety. Was that because of him?

This wouldn't do, Damian thought. He had to fix this. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

But only because he should make up for his own mistakes. . . even if he wasn't sure what it was. And because if they were friends, he should try and fix things. . .right? He'd do the same thing for Ewen or Emile. This was no different. That's just what friends did. It had nothing to do with the fact that she was ignoring him. No, no, Damian was just doing what a friend did.

And when lunch came around, he reminded himself of that as he spotted her eating with Blackbell.

Damian didn't join her and ate with Emile and Ewen at another table. Before long, the mess hall began to empty and Forger and Blackbell were finishing up.

"Go back without me. I'm gonna be a minute." Damian told his friends as they cleared their trays from the table. Emile and Ewen glanced towards Forger and exchanged a look Damian couldn't decipher.

"Yeah, okay." Ewen said, leaving Damian to wonder at the smirk on his face as he left.

Damian didn't like that.

He waited 'til they were gone and approached Forger's table. Blackbell saw him coming and excused herself to the bathroom, telling Forger to wait for her. She also had a weird look on her face.

'. . .that was unexpectedly helpful.' Damian thought.

Forger's back was turned to him and he traveled between the long tables to somewhere in the middle. Forger lazily sat her head in a hand and poked her mostly untouched food around with a fork.

"Hey." He said and she sat up. She looked neither surprised, nor happy, to see him. A little on edge.

That kinda bugged Damian.

"What's your deal?" Damian got right to the point and it came out more irritated than he meant it to, driven by a weird feeling he just now noticed building up.

Forger was slow to react and stared for a moment. Damian prickled when she decided her food was more interesting than he was.

"Hey! Don't ignore me!" He backfired and immediately drew back as if he could withdraw that unintentional response. Why was he so worked up?

But as if he hadn't raised his voice at her, Forger continued to poke listlessly at her food and she just felt . . so off. Damian couldn't repress his anger, but it felt out of place at the same time. And the more he considered it, it began to morph into something more quiet.

"Are you seriously not going to talk to me?" Damian tried again and he didn't like what the pressure in his chest meant at her indifference to him. "I thought. . ." He grew softer and Forger's hand stilled as if she could hear it coming. "I thought we were friends. . . " Damian said. "After what happened. . ." And no matter how much he denied it, he knew why he was upset. That Forger would act as if the incident at the lab had no affect on their relationship, that they hadn't survived something terrifying together, that she didn't also feel like it connected them in some way, hurt Damian in ways he didn't know was possible. And he hated it. He'd learned so much about Forger, thought he'd grown closer to her, and she'd only become more distant.

He didn't expect the words to affect her the way it did and her her mouth drew taut. Her eyes that fixed on her plate grew glossy and wet. Her hand returned to support her face that turned away from him and, as if someone flicked some sense into his forehead, Damian realized she wasn't indifferent to him. Her behaviour had nothing to do with Damian.

Something had happened she wasn't telling him. She wasn't acting this way because she hated him, or because he'd done something wrong. Or even because he'd learned some of her secrets.

Something else had happened to make her this way.

If Damian had ever felt like a terrible person, it was then, when a spark of hope lit up and told him he could still fix this, despite the adjacent sinking feeling in his stomach that something else had happened to make Forger this way.

He was suddenly angry, though he didn't know at what.

Damian took a step back as if this new revelation could physically push him as he processed.

What had happened? How was Damian going to fix this if he didn't know? How was he going to get through to her if she didn't let him?

Well . . .Damian was stubborn. He thought. He never was good at letting things so.

But Forger finally murmured an answer and Damian realized this was going to be more difficult than he thought.

"We shouldn't be friends."