Adoring Levi

twenty three

10th of March, 2017

Fridays are my favourite day. My schedule for school is the most relaxing of the week, so Maddie and I are always in a good mood when we walk home with Evie. I spend the day talking with our friends, making sure the teachers don't hear us. Well, her friends. No one really talks to me, and I'm too nervous to try and make my own friends.

Sometimes, I feel like Maddie has to force them to talk to me when she's not around. It's okay, though. I don't mind sitting in silence by myself either, even though she says it's depressing for a twelve year old to be so quiet.

This Friday is different. I didn't fight with Maddie the second I woke up to get to the bathroom first. Mom didn't pack me the usual lunch she always does. There was no fighting between my sisters in the car this morning.

Instead, I woke up with an itchy feeling in my throat, a banging headache and a fever. Mom put her hand against my forehead, frowning at the warm feeling. She then had Dad check on me, to which he subtly rolled his eyes to. Mom didn't notice, but I did. The action made my heart clench as I resisted the urge to dig my nails into my palms.

He never complains when he has to check up on my sisters. It's always been me he had a problem with.

He ended up touching my forehead as well, telling Mom that I should stay home because of my temperature. I sat up on my bed, immediately shaking my head at the idea. I'd rather go to school sick then stay with him alone.

My objections were quickly stopped at the harsh glare he sent my way, a look that told me I would be in more trouble if I kept on protesting against Mom.

I gave in, biting the inside of my cheek as Mom told Dad to take care of me. He simply nodded, clearly annoyed at me causing such a ruckus so early in the morning.

The second the front door closed, signalling that Mom and my sisters left the house, I expected the usual sound of Dad's hand connecting with my cheek, leaving a red mark that would only last for a few hours. I've gotten used to those hits. They only sting a bit now and don't bruise, so it's easy to hide from Mom. The main problem is when punches me; it's hard to cover a broken nose or a bruise and to make up different excuses to Mom. At this point, she must think I'm the clumsiest girl in the world.

I don't complain much when he hurts me. Ever since grandma died, he's been going through a lot. I would go insane if I watched my mom die in front of me, too. His main way of coping is disciplining me. It's painful, but I think it might be the only thing keeping him here. As long as I don't misbehave too much, he'll stay and take care of Mom and my sisters. I don't want to be the reason he leaves, so I'll endure his hits and cruel words if it means he won't leave us.