Adoring Levi

forty

The fat, stupid smile on my face hasn't gone away since I woke up no matter how hard I try to stay neutral.

Levi and I talked for three hours on the phone last night before we decided we should go to sleep so we wouldn't be on the verge of death this morning. I spent around five minutes laying on my stomach while I stared at my phone, kicking my feet while giggling to myself over all the things he said that my mind fixated on.

My thoughts before bed were utterly consumed of seeing him this morning, and now that the morning is here, my stomach is twisting from anxiety but also anticipation.

I have no idea why I'm acting like this; I've had a boyfriend before, two. This is the first time I've ever been like this over a man. Clearly, Levi isn't just any man.

I study my reflection in the mirror in the hallway, flattening out my hair with my hands. "À bientôt, Mama!" I call out, hearing her shout goodbye at me before I open the door of the house. She doesn't know about Levi and I. I haven't gotten around to telling her or my sisters. I'm aware that they'll be happy about it since they love Levi, but I can't get myself to say it.

(Translation: See you soon, Mom.)

My smile manages to widen as I see Levi shut his door at the same time I do, the doors banging in sync. His head turns to me, a dimpled smile wider than normal on his face.

He raises his hand, giving me a small wave. His brows furrow immediately, a small crease forming between them as he hesitantly lowers it. I'm not sure if the darkness is causing my eyes to play tricks on me, but I swear his cheeks flush a slight red.

I move around Mom's car, ambling to the end of the driveway. My steps slow as my nerves increase every millisecond that passes.

What do I do? Should I hug him? Kiss him? Where? On his cheeks? His lips?

I don't have the opportunity to answer my own questions. We meet at the end of both our driveways, standing a few inches away from each other. My stomach starts to do backflips. What the fuck do I do?

"Hi," I breathe out, sending him a small smile. I bite my lip, resisting the urge to hit myself in the head. Hi? What is wrong with you?

"Hi," he repeats, fiddling with his fingers. We stand in silence, looking at each other with awkward smiles on our faces.

I point to the direction where we always walk to school. "We should go."

"Yeah." His voice is an octave higher than normal as he says that, clearing his throat. "Of course."

I turn around immediately, screwing my eyes shut from my stupidity. This is the first time we're seeing each other in person since the kiss on Saturday, and now my mind is completely blank.

I twist my bracelet around my wrist, my mind scanning through the things I should say to get rid of the awkward silence between us.

"Did you sleep well?" he asks, still fiddling with his fingers.