Just My Type

Obsession

You know what is so weird? How we go through phases of things. Some might even call a hyper fixation. Now maybe what I am about to explain isn't a normal thing, but I can help but think about it. I find myself having a hard time sticking to things sometimes. Whether it is a hobby, activities, or other interests. I find myself obsessing over things. Or wanting to do things. 

I see a tik tok video of somebody painting something, or a cool piece of embroidery at the store. It makes me want to try those things. So, I go out and buy all the things and obsess over it all for a bit and then I just stop. I might go back to it later, I might not. I never really know. They are things that I am particularly good at, but I enjoy doing them. This also goes with interest too. I start a show and binge it for awhile, and then after a while of watching it non-stop, I just stop and for some reason I never go back to it. 

There are also times when I begin to go back to old ship pairing that I loved and just binge read fanfics. I seem to go back and forth with that. After a few weeks it usually goes away and then it weeks before I read any fanfic, no matter what genre or pairing it is. The same goes for books. There are months at a time where I won't read anything. Then, I find a book that is so good and I jump back into things.

I think that part that is weirdest to me, is that I enjoy these things. (At least for the most part) Sometimes books can get boring, or a painting doesn't quite come out like I want it to. or maybe the new hobby I am trying is too frustrating. Despite all those things though, overall I enjoy them. So why do I just stop? Maybe it is a type of burn out? I don't know. It sucks because they are so fun and interesting and it is not just me wasting away time by scrolling on my phone. I try not to be on my phone too much. It can be hard though because what else is there to do? Just thinking about starting a new book or DIY sounds exhausting, so I just don't do it and opt to watch a tv show or scroll through my phone. Eventually I get bored of that too. 

I am not an outdoorsy person, so I do not want to go on a hike or be active. As much as I wish I was that person, I am just not. I don't going to the beach or things like that. Overall, be active it not something I usually elect to do. Even though you can see some really beautiful places, it just doesn't motivate me enough. Part of my lack of interest is some health related things. As a result of that, it makes me even less inclined to want to go outside. 

So you see, my options then become limited. There has to be other people that do this too. I know I can't be the only one. I wonder if this is something that everyone experiences at some point in their lives. Maybe not all of the time, but to some extent, I feel like people would experience this at some point. 

I think the reason I am thinking about all of this is because the last few months I have had time on my hands to think and try to figure out what to do with my free time. In addition to that, I also have been reading a lot lately (which is great!). It just has me thinking is all. How do you stick with those things? If there is no motivation or inspiration or imagination, how do you get yourself to do it? 

I wonder what my next obsession will be. Until next time. 

J xx