Just My Type

Short but not sweet

Hey guy's, it's me again. This will probably be short because I really should be going to bed and I have a headache. It's just that I felt the need to write. Despite it being a short prompt, it still is one, right? 

Anyway...

Things are still rough. Not much has change. I still feel as lonely as ever. Tonight, my dorm building put on a taco Tuesday night. I went with my all of my roommates and then two other girls that are friends of my suitemates. Once we get down to the floor that has all the food, we all notice that the line is super long. Three of the girls decided that they are just going to order food from somewhere else. Not that longer after that, another one of the girls decides they don't want to wait. I'm still in line with my roommate, but then she decides she doesn't want to wait either. She proceeds to leave me. She asks me if it is okay that she leaves. Of course I say yes, because I don't want to make her do something she doesn't want to do. Does she expect to beg her to stay? Like dude you're not being good company anyway, just being on your phone the whole time. So, the rest of the night I proceed to be alone. Seems to be the state I am in most of the time lol. I go back up to the room and eat my tacos. They were pretty good. My suitemates and their company are loud as usual and go in and out of the dorm. You can never really be sure when they have people over because it just feels like it happens all the time. 

Night goes on, me watching Shane Dawson's newest video, along with a few other videos as well. Roommate nowhere to be found. She comes in once with a friend and they both change clothes for some reason and then leave again. All alone.  Headache soon comes. I want to sleep, but I also want to stay up. Oh the troubles with being a teen. Hoping that a shower will help with my headache, I turn the shower on and get in. It does end up helping a little bit. That's when the thoughts start to pop up. Why is it that a shower is the place where deep, usually depressing, thoughts pop up? Is it something in the water? Is it a subconscious thing? Like does our brain recognize that what you are in is a shower and it does something to your brain? Who knows. Anyway, I get over-whelmed...again lol. I tear up, but I don't actually cry. I'm tired and on my period, so that does not help things. In a way, I'm tired of my roommate and ugh I just don't know how to word how I am feeling! How crazy is it that someone who likes to write, can't actually put something into words. Almost seems cruel. Or just human I guess. I wish making friends wasn't so hard. Why does it have to be so hard?! 

Sometimes I just really hate people.