You and Me in the Old Jeep - TROYLER AU

Chapter Eleven

11

"He's...more than a friend."

Immediately I felt like I'd been kicked in the gut, knocking the wind right out of me. Of course no boy as gorgeous as Troye could be single - and the promise ring had been such a prominent sign that I'd so stupidly chosen to ignore. I felt like such an idiot, but the worst part was the ridiculous amount of disappointment coursing through me, hot and bitter. I hated him for making me feel like this.

Flushing bright red with anger and embarrassment, I went to turn away, but Troye reached out and grabbed my wrist. A jolt of electricity raced through me at his touch and when I looked up his eyes were wide, honest, anxious. "No, Tyler, wait." he protested. "You don't understand."

"Why would I have to?" I replied coolly. "We're just friends anyway." Inside, I was slowly turning molten, but I could never betray that to him.

"I know, but he's not - I thought he would never -" Troye let go - my skin tingled at the loss of contact - and wiped his eyes roughly. "It's not like that, Tyler!"

I hated to see him cry, but I couldn't bear to stay there any longer. Without another word I left, blinking back my own stinging tears, but when I glanced back at Troye he was still standing there, head bowed, his shoulders shaking; the picture of desolation. His pale pink full lips trembled as he tried to hold in sobs, and he braced his arms on the sink. Clearly thinking I had already gone, a heart-wrenching sob wracked him, and he glared at the promise ring.

"I hate you," he murmured, his voice cracking, and then louder, a desperate scream, "I hate you!"

I felt like my chest was on fire, flames licking up and down the left side of my ribcage like gasoline. Surely it wasn't natural to feel so much for just one person - and one I'd barely known a week? The again, I was sure that you'd have to be a sociopath to look at this boy stripped so raw, so broken, and feel anything less than unnerving amounts of pity.

(want something that is natural? naturebox.com)

I couldn't make myself move another inch. I stayed stuck in the doorway staring at Troye as he cried unknowingly, raging at this unknown person.

Then, very slowly, I took a step back towards him.

Troye's head jerked up and his shiny eyes flickered dully. "Sorry," he muttered, but didn't say anything else. His suit was tear stained and crumpled, his beautiful brown hair in a curly mess, but he looked so fucking beautiful and I hated it. I hated how may emotions he was managing to evoke in me at once. It wasn't fair that I wasn't in control, it wasn't fair that he hadn't just gone along with the fucking game in the first place, it wasn't fair that he was crying and I was just standing still like a statue watching it all happen.

I switched off, went into default mode, and regretted everything I said.

"C'mon, Troye." I snapped. "Either tell me what's wrong or pull yourself together." I crossed my arms tightly, hugging my chest in an effort to keep it in one piece. WHAT ARE YOU DOING, I shrieked at myself inwardly.

Troye's nose scrunched, adorably confused, before a cool understanding spread over his face. "Drop the act, Tyler." he said quietly. "We both know there's more than this to you."

I rolled my eyes, my trademark smirk more like a snarl now with sheer desperation to make him, to make myself, understand. "This is me!" I growled. "All of this! This is me. This is all there is. Stop looking for more."

"No." Troye came in close, looking down at me almost pityingly, even though there were tears drying on his own face. "We both know that's not how it is."

The tension was unbearable and, if I'm being honest, slightly sexual. I was trembling with the force of my rage and confusion, hands twitching. I didn't know whether I wanted to strangle him or kiss him. "What else do you even see?" I asked finally. It was meant to be a shout, a derisive accusation, but it came out like a whisper. Like I was so much less.

Troye's features softened and he took my hands - again his skin on mine made me feel like I'd just been shocked and thousands of volts were rushing through me. "I see someone I'd write songs about." he said. "But I also see a stubborn little fucker who doesn't hate me half as much as he'd like to think he does."

I opened my mouth to reply - with what, I wasn't really sure - but then the bathroom door opened and we leapt away from each other like guilty teens. Straightening my tie I hurried out without even looking at Troye.

It wasn't until I was in bed that night that I realised I'd never found out why Troye had cried.

OH GOD THIS IS ALL OVER THE PLACE SORRY SORRY

my writing ability is slowly decreasing ugh thanks for over 800 reads though that's awesome

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Bbbbbye *wink*