You and Me in the Old Jeep - TROYLER AU

Chapter Thirty-Five

ARE YOU READY FOR THIS I NEARLY CRIED

Song of the Chapter: Youth by Daughter (GUYS LISTEN TO IT very important for setting the mood for the chapter)

(also lyrics are very relevant)

(go back up and press play even if you don't usually listen to the songs)

(do it)

35

Troye was collapsing, but he had expected this, to be honest.

Well, he hadn't expected Tyler to cheat right there and then in the restaurant, but he had known something would go wrong eventually, because Troye had never deserved anything he wanted. He wasn't good enough for Tyler and he was trying to convince himself that that was okay, that he was used to it from Sam, that he was okay.

He felt so stupid to have trusted Tyler. Sex was all Tyler had wanted in the beginning and Troye knew now that people didn't change. Troye, for example, would always be the same worthless idiot he'd always been - because that definitely wouldn't ever change, and he didn't really want to be awake right now. He didn't want to feel like this anymore. It had been three days, but it still hadn't gotten any better and -

Troye's breathing fractured suddenly and he was crying, sobs ripping painfully away from his throat faster than he could suppress them. His nails tore at the skin on his chest, scratching at his ribs, clawing for his heart. He didn't want it anymore. He hated being in love - no, he hated being in love with Tyler Oakley, and he hated that he'd written so many songs about it, because Troye didn't know if he'd ever be able to sing them again.

Troye tipped his head back against the wall, hiccuping quietly, feeling sick with heartache. It was very late and very dark and very quiet in his room - he could see some dark shapes in the gloom like his wardrobe and the nightstand, objects that had seemed so ordinary in the daylight appearing suddenly terrifying. Night, Troye thought dully, reveals us.

God, he was so stupid to fall in love. He remembered Tyler's laugh, how it had rushed straight through him, and the way Tyler had said his name like it meant something important, like Troye mattered.

And then he cried some more, because he knew Tyler was probably asleep and not crying or caring at all.

DO YOU GET IT BC THEY'RE BOTH CRYING AT LIKE THE SAME TIME BUT TROYE DOESN'T KNOW AND THINKS TYLER DOESN'T CARE SOMEBODY HOLD ME

double update also ooooooh

thanks for reading and please vote comment and add this to your reading lists if you enjoyed it : )

Bbbbbbbbbye *wink*

188,"f}<