You and Me in the Old Jeep - TROYLER AU

Chapter Sixteen

Song of the Chapter: Lose It by Oh Wonder

i'd apologize for using oh wonder songs so much but they're so good that i'm really not sorry

16

 I went home that evening practically glowing, unable to stop myself from tapping my fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the radio, even humming along, though the words of Troye's beautiful song were still stuck in my head. I could even remember when I'd last felt like this. It was like being drunk, though I hadn't touched any alcohol that day. I hadn't had to.

That night, I sobered up remarkably quickly.

I was on my laptop when a notification popped up on twitter - a DM from Joey, asking about going out tonight.

I started to reply but paused, my fingers settling lightly on the keyboard, unsure of how to answer. I still felt the need to keep up appearances, because God knows if my friends knew how much of a fucking sap I turned into around Troye I'd be done for, but a party really wasn't where I wanted to be right now. In fact, I knew exactly where I wanted to be right now - back in the Jeep with Troye, riding around town and listening to his beautiful voice...

What was happening to me? I shook my head vigorously. I hadn't felt like myself - or at least the person I had been so sure was myself for the past few years - since I met Troye. I both loved and feared the effect he had on me, but it shouldn't stop me going out and having a couple drinks, should it? I was allowed go out with my friends.

And thanks to Troye's stalker ex-boyfriend, there was nothing between us. I felt a spark of fear and fury at the idea of someone daring to hurt him, but he was an adult and I couldn't do anything about it.

Done reassuring myself, I replied to Joey, who sent me back the address of a...a house? Oh God. House parties nearly always ended upstairs for me, but tonight, I decided, I wouldn't go there. Not because of any particular reason. Especially not because of Troye. I just didn't want to.

I rolled my eyes. I couldn't even convince myself, but I could sure as hell pretend I was.

So that night I dressed in dark colors so I wouldn't stand out and made my way to the house. These kinds of parties were a cut below even the clubs, with people not only making out on the lawn but one couple that looked like they might be - I grimaced and looked away, walking quickly past them with my head down.

Nearly all my friends seemed to be there as well, having gravitated towards the alcohol like fucking moths to a flame - I spotted Korey and Jacob making out sloppily against a wall, all wandering hands, and Joey knocking over an expensive looking glass vase. He came over a few moments afterwards, so drunk that he was giggling at every word, telling me the rest of our gang was around here somewhere.

His happiness was infectious. I still felt a little uneasy, but I wanted to relax, so I decided that one drink couldn't hurt.

I went from one kind of drunk to another, and lost it.

~wibblywobblytimeywimeytimeskip~

A thud and an exasperated sigh. Someone's pulling at my hands, but I'm too slow. 

"Tyler, snap out of it."

They sound annoyed at me, but I can't stop laughing. I can't really see anything either, just smears of color and a few faces. The music is really loud - it's a good song. I want to keep dancing, but this mystery person is leading me in the opposite direction.

"Are you fricking kidding me?" the person muttered suddenly when I lurched backwards for the fifth time, and I felt them pulling me along a little faster. The music faded into the background as I struggled to place the voice.

"Troyeboy," I said finally, and exploded into laughter. He was funny. 

His face swam into focus slowly. He looked really pissed off, but everything was so fucking hilarious that I laughed at him, and his eyes narrowed. My head spun as it tugged my arm again and a wave of balmy nighttime air slapped me in the face from the open door just meters away now, cool enough to sober me a least a little.

"Troye," I said, testing out his name. "Why are you here?" I was more confused than amused, but then a couple stumbled past us whispering into each other's ears, and I blinked, remembering where I was.

"You called me, you idiot," Troye looked really annoyed now but also a little upset, moving his grip to my forearms to keep me upright. "Don't you remember? Or are you pissed out of your mind?"

"I..." I frowned, shaking him off. "Don't call me an idiot! I'm allowed get a little drunk!"

"You're not allowed to call me at three in the morning asking me to come pick you up because you're too fucking drunk to walk!" Troye retorted, scowling at me. I didn't ever want him to look at me with so much - so much disappointment. He stared at me like he'd expected more from me. Like I should have expected more from myself.

A hot rush of shame and anger washed over me. "Go home, Troye." I hissed. "Aren't you a little young for this sort of thing?" I knew somewhere that that was cruel to say but my head was spinning furiously, and everything was becoming far too loud.

His pale cheeks were flushed and I saw a flash of pain in his blue eyes before he was glaring again. "I was trying to help." Troye replied icily. 

"I don't need you." I blinked and his image blurred with angry drunken tears. I blinked them away impatiently. "I don't need anyone."

He stared at me, but this time it was with pity I hated. "Yeah, I can see that." Troye said softly. "I really thought you -" He broke off, shaking his head. "Whatever, Tyler. Have fun."

I stood stock still as he pushed past me and left. The music seemed to be rising in volume to the point where my ears hurt, but I stayed still and waited for all the colors to merge again so I could enjoy myself again - but it didn't happen. I stayed firmly stuck in this horrible moment, and found myself more sober than I had ever been before. 

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Bbbbbbbbbye *wink*