You and Me in the Old Jeep - TROYLER AU

Chapter Eighteen

Song of the Chapter:  And Then You by Greg Laswell (i've been obsessed with him recently, he's fantastic)

18

When I woke up the next morning the first thing I did was check my phone, but Troye had never replied. I groaned and rolled over, hiding my face in my duvet. I felt like a teenager waiting for a text from their crush, but I knew it meant a lot more than that.

No matter what we were, or would be, I just - I just needed to see Troye again, to know he didn't hate me. He had perfect reason to though. I was such a fucking idiot. 

Huh. Since I'd met him, I'd noticed that I'd lost a lot of the sass and sarcasm that used to make up my primary traits - before I never would have really insulted myself, especially if I knew that I deserved it. He was stripping me back to a new, rawer version of myself, like an acoustic track on an album, with his voice and his incredible eyes. 

I hoped he was okay. I got to wondering whether his ex had see him again, and then I became so worried that I dared to call him, but it went straight to voicemail, and I lit up with agonizing indecision. Should I try and find him? It was stupid and he was probably just ignoring me, like he had every right to, but I couldn't shake the feeling.

I got dressed, got in the car and went to find Troye.

I didn't know where he lived, so I just went by the places I'd seen him before - the coffee shop and the 'Brighton' ice cream place. I went inside there to ask Alfie and Zoe if they'd seen him and was immediately confronted by Nala the tiny pug running in circles at my feet, panting hard with excitement. She was happy to see me at least, but then I looked up from the dog to see Zoe standing there glaring at me, her hands on her hips, lips pursed, and extremely pissed off.

"What did you do to Troye, Tyler?" she snapped immediately. "He rang us in tears at four in the morning and all we could get out of him was that it had something to do with you!"

"Zoe, look, I -"

She looked angry, and it didn't really suit her pixie-like face. "Tyler, he really doesn't need this from you. I don't know how much he's told you, but Troye has enough to deal with -"

"I know about his ex." The words burst out of Tyler's mouth before he could stop them and he paused, eyes widening. Shit. He had the sense instantly that this was something they were never, ever supposed to talk about behind Troye's back.

Zoe's eyes were also huge in her face suddenly. "Oh God. Okay, Tyler, I need to talk to you outside."

We slipped out into the carpark, where the hot tarmac burned up through my flipflops - it was only eleven o'c clock and the LA sun was already beating down with an intensity that quite literally took my breath away after being inside the air-conditioned building - and Zoe spun around to me, stopping me in my tracks. She was wearing the serious look again, but now there was worry in her eyes.

"Tyler, I don' think you realise..." She shook her head, sighing. "Troye doesn't trust people after Sa - after his ex fucked around with him, and his family doesn't talk to him, and he just really, really doesn't trust people. The fact that he shared that with you, that's..." A flash of something flared briefly in her eyes, maybe pain or relief or a mixture of both, and something else indescribable. "That's really important, Tyler."

I didn't know what to say. I just stood there, silent and aching, as she continued.

"He trusts you, Tyler. Or at least, he did." Zoe bit her lip, gazing into my eyes in what seemed an effort to make me understand how essential it was that I was listening, which I was. "I don't know what's up with you two, but I just - it's hard to get Troye's trust, and he gave it to you so fast that he must see something in you. The thing with Troye is that once you lose it, you never get it back."

There was a bad taste in my mouth. I was even more scared than ever of losing him. "I'm trying to find him to apologize." I said quietly. "I thought you'd know." 

She studied me like she was trying to read me. "He should be in the studio." she said slowly. "But Tyler, can I ask you something first?"

I was itching to see him, but I nodded. "Sure."

"Do you care about him?" Her eyes were grave. "I mean do you really care?" 

I was wrongfooted, thrown off course, bundled up and spread out everywhere at once. What an impossible question, just right to be about an impossible boy like Troye Sivan. I mean, what kind of person could make me stay in touch even after being denied what I'd sworn up and down was the only reason I'd even introduced myself - what kind of person could make me feel something? Something that kept building up and up inside my chest and terrifying me with its frightening intensity. Something that I could barely admit to myself, let alone Zoe, something I couldn't identify or dispute. 

"I care." I let it out of me as a gasp. "I really, really care about Troye."

A smile finally broke over on her face. "Okay, then." Zoe said gently as I stood practically trembling with the force of my own words. She rocked back on her heels then, her smile getting a little sadder, and continued, "Just don't hurt him, if you can. He doesn't deserve it."

"I know." I smiled back at her, both of us having reached if not a mutual understanding, then at least a mutual care for Troye,

And after I said goodbye as and I was getting in the car, I heard her say, almost under her breath, "I just hope he takes you back." 

sorry it's short but lots more to come and oh dear 2.4k thanks guys, i'm a little intimidated and hoping you're all friendly, i'm just a little leprechaun from ireland so please take pity and leave food

please vote comment and add this to your reading lists, thanks for reading

Bbbbbbye *wink*